Immediate Thoughts - #FFCamp15

The last 6 days have been amazing - so amazing that I cannot word nor begin to explain. Nor am I going to. Well aware of my reflective capabilities, I'm going to sit on my thoughts for the next week or so and pull them together when I can catch my breathe. 

Not wanting to leave the blog on a blank slate, I'll attempt to drop my immediate thoughts, hopefully they will make sense or offer some suggestion of what I mean. 

In the pre-camp blog I said I went into the week with a different kind of nerves. An apprehension of not knowing where my National Game Youth Council or Football Futures path leads. Nerves of wanting to better last year, knowing that the little things were going to be the difference. 

I've always said the event and destination isn't always the important part, but the people you are travelling and working with. This week has allowed me to build some amazing friendships, strengthen ones which are already there and work with 99 outstanding young people who have truly inspired me. 

There have been many 'smile moments' and I'm glad that people have taken on board the idea of lollipop moments. Small random moments of significance to you, not to the world but to the individual. Some people might not realise they are creating them, but lollipop moments are all around us - we need to start recognising them and celebrating them. 

Entering the week I didn't set any goals, but my thoughts were around quality not quantity. Could I have a handful of meaningful impacts / relationships over numerous insignificant ones? I'd like to think I've achieved that. How do I know they've been meaningful? I don't know, the messages I've received today have blown me away and might be proof - but it's in what comes next. Do those people go and make a bigger difference? 

I'm flitting between thoughts and ideas, rolling through Camp Blues and to be honest don't really know where I'm going with this. Never did I think I'd get the privilege of this journey, neither did I think it would take over my life and emotions. How wrong could I be? 

This week I've felt like the richest person in the world. Rich on life, the exhilarating moments it has given me. The opportunity to meet and spend time with people and then see them progress. See them eager and determined to learn, to want to do more and be more.

Before the emotions take over, again, I'm going to leave it here, well until I can formulate actually relevant and structured thoughts and feelings..

I'm exceptionally proud to be a Football Futures Ambassador, to be associated with something which actively changes people's lives through the most amazing vehicle of football. Leadership isn't something we should work towards, but something we should embrace. Football Futures changes the lives of the people who understand the importance of being a better person, and striving to develop themselves and others. 

You don't have to change the world, to change the world; there are 6 billions perceptions of the world, and if you can change one person's view, then you have done just that. 

FFCamp15 - Pre-Camp

There's a video on FATV somewhere from day 1 of the FA Football Futures National Camp 2012, unfortunately for the viewers I feature a couple of times and have been caught saying, 'I've come to be inspired so that I can go and inspire.' At that moment in time I knew I was embarking on a special journey, which had in fact already started, I was in presence of some incredible people, but hadn't yet realised and was about to enjoy a week which was to change my viewpoint on football completely. 3 years on, we are hours from The FA Football Futures National Camp 2015 and I'm a part of the FA's National Game Youth Council who will be delivering the week. 

3 years ago, I enjoyed 5 days at Hereford College for the Blind, surrounded by enthusiastic young leaders who wanted to be better, at what I'm not too sure. At the time we all thought better at our football related roles, now it's a much different thought.. In actual fact we were becoming better people. (For a full view on FFCamp12 check out the 'Leader Life Leader Legacy' post from a few years ago). What Camp taught me, and Football Futures continues to do so, is that the destination isn't always apparent, the journey is most important - that developing moving pathway we're all on- essential to that is our companions along the way. My 5 days at Camp were inspiring, my peers, camp councillors (now mentors) and the Youth Council who ran the week. I walked away wanting to become someone like the people I had the pleasure of being with that week. I'd like to think I'm on the right track, but after all, we're not human shaped robots following each other and creating copies. 

Now moving towards my 3rd Camp, 2nd as a part of the FA National Game Youth Council, I'm as excited and apprehensive as I was 3 years ago, but now for many different reasons. I'm now the one doing the inspiring, well trying. I have an incredible amount of time for the people who inspired me those years ago, without them and in fairness the memories I wouldn't be who and where I am. It's my role to inspire others to go and be the best they can be, to help them and offer advice and guidance. That's huge. Last year, I learnt what it feels like to do just that. Words cannot even begin to cover it. To inspire and influence staff, mentors and young leaders. Young leaders who mentioned me in their blogs, tweet and update me on how their lives are going.. That's something really special. 

This year, I sense a different kind of nerves. To steal a quote from Steve Swallow, this is our 'swan song' (who knew swans could sing?!) as the National team that we are. My future is starting to unfold and being 100% honest I don't know where my NGYC and Football Futures path leads to or looks like. Some would say that's exciting, for me that fragile. For something which has been a huge part in my recent life and journey to where I am, being uncertain isn't pleasant. It means too much, and I don't really want it to end. 'Letting go' as it's been described, but I guess my grip is too tight. I get the feeling this may be the end to a new beginning, one door closing and all that... I maybe wrong. 

The tweets are starting to roll in as we edge closer. More proudly, I'm reading tweets from last year's Young Leaders. People who I spoke to and helped, just to get through a week, who are saying how camp made them feel and what they're up to.. It's fantastic to be apart of. I am really looking forwards to seeing and meeting this years' group of 99 young leaders, getting to know them and understand the current climate of young people in football. The environment of camp might be similar, but it's new people. And that the great thing about it. 

As Football Futures is changing we need to keep up, remember it's about collecting experiences, not hours. For those attending next week, we need to fuel them with enthusiasm and give them the best experience they've had yet. Quite a challenge? I think so. An exciting challenge, most definitely. For me, Camp is a catalyst for thoughts of where / who we are and where we want to be.. The catalyst in realising that leap of faith is possible. 

I expect an emotion packed week where I will pick up and learn just as much as the young leaders attending. I've not yet set an goals, bit of shock coming from me, the only real thought is not to cry during closing ceremony, again. 3rd time lucky I guess. We may have timetables and plans, but it will be an unpredictable week. 

My only advice to all involved: make the experience count.