Pause on the Pursuit.

 It's not until we stop, pause and glance back that we realise what is going on and just how many footsteps we have left behind us. Not just those of our own, but those of others lost on this adventure with us. Not until we start do we realise that there isn't a destination but a journey to get lost in and enjoy.

We reflect, we think about what has been achieved, wonder at how we have developed into the people we are and never seem to be able to pin point the exact time things started moving so fast. The lollipop moment which changed the way we think, feel and perceive the world. Or in fact, how the journey happens.. it kind of just does. As the quote goes, 'faith is taking a step without seeing the full stair case.' Maybe that's what it is, numerous small seemingly insignificant moments of encouragement, support, courage, opportunity disguised as a challenge which have provided at times stepping stones to leap from to keep moving forwards.. wherever forwards is.

Commonly described as a catalyst, with the right support, Football Futures has and continues to change lives. For different reasons to different people. The speed in which young people develop is mind blowing. Being in the right environment which allows individuals to believe there are possibilities. To be supported by those a few steps ahead. Making the most of opportunities as they are presented.. being present. Enjoying the now.

Enjoying the now.

Over September/ October I was challenged to stop thinking about what is coming next. Think about the journey up until now, where have I come from, and where am I right now. In-between the opportunities as key top line points, are the people who enabled the opportunity to present itself, and the moments within the opportunity. Nobody remembers the whole thing, the whole trip, event etc. But we remember moments.

What was said, what was felt, what we saw.

What we said, what we made others feel, what we made others see.

I think we're modest, never allowing ourselves to believe we are that powerful to inspire and influence others. Not recognising the small things we do and say can be really big things to other people. We're too busy enjoying ourselves and trying to let other people get lost with us through enthusiasm, reflection and the want for others to develop. 

I've been thinking about the people, the lollipop moments of 3-4 years ago, the many I have had this week and how important they all are. Thought about the shift in thinking from what is the next step/ opportunity to, let's see what happens. The 'hell yeahs' as once described to me.

The points at which we work through the challenges and forget to allow ourselves the enjoyment of letting go. Caring less to almost care more. Enjoying the pitfalls, because they are learning points. Realising that by trusting ourselves, and those around us great strides can be made unknowingly.

Maybe it's good we don't know. But maybe we are missing a whole lot by not recognising the smalls moments which are really big moments.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is, it's good every now and then to just stop. Pause on the pursuit of perfection, nobody really knows the way, but we all remember where we started.

It feels good to be lost in the right direction. I feels good to stop and enjoy the view.

People are People

'Be excited by the opportunity you have to bring out the best in other people.'
Mark Sampson

What a thought that we are that powerful to be able to bring out the best in others. That our actions and words can inspire others to be better leaders, youth council members.. to be better people.

It has been said to me in recent days, 'It's not the programme, it's the people.' The ones who care about the development of others, the ones who take the time out to listen and support individuals, the ones who want what is best for their peers, the ones who stride with you, the ones who give you something to follow, the ones who nudge you from behind to keep on going. The ones.

People are people. The more we remember that, the more we will adapt who we are and our support to enhance the potential of others. To be that nudge in the back, or the one sprinting to keep up with the ambitions of others.

Something I have done a lot of thinking about over the last season [and beyond], is what makes a good leader? Everyone has their own style, their own comfort. However, it's rather likely that our leadership style interchanges on a regular basis.

Is a leader, someone who creates followers and is apart from the group? Is a leader, someone who leads from within? Takes people on a journey, is a tour guide not a travel agent? Is a leader, someone who has faced challenges, been broken numerous times, but keeps on coming back and trying again? Is a leader, someone who is a little bit different, creative, innovative, someone who does something different or better?

What if a leader, is all of those things? Has experienced the challenges, developed resilience, learnt to take people with them, have found ways to be different?

The 60 Youth Leaders who attended FFA16 are exactly that, their own leader - even more than that - their own person, with their own perceptions of what 'good' and 'great' looks like. They are authentic, but know how to look for the best attributes of others which might work and build into their armoury.. build into it, not become it. As noted last week, lets remember the difference between role models and mirrors.

Thrown in at the deep end, our youth leaders have been challenged to think about themselves, what they stand for and believe in, their values, how can they support and influence others? Everyone is a role model, not just to those behind us but to those above and beside us. Trying to support those thoughts is a challenge in itself, an exciting one as the top line says. But we are part of this process to, how can we support the development of others if we aren't sure of who we are? Or have any idea of the process? A journey we all must undertake in order to effectively support others.. no one will ever crack it. We're evolving all of the time. Developing ways of thinking and ways of being. But I don't think we can appropriately support others with ways we wouldn't be prepared to test ourselves.

The challenge in being your own person, leader, light bulb, whatever, is that everyone sees the journey from their own set of eyes. We forget that it is ok to accept someone else's opinion and way of being if we feel that it makes sense and fits with us. We don't have to challenge and revise things and thoughts all of the time.. sometimes an idea just sits nicely. As long as we know why we are accepting thoughts then that is what matters, surely?

More often, we might revise and challenge thoughts to either further our understanding or to accept them on our terms. 'Yeah, I like that point, but it isn't quite relevant - how about looking at it like this..' Shaping ideas and thoughts before internalising them.

Every now and again we will resist thoughts, 'No, I disagree and wont accept that.' Resisting thoughts it ok, you're allowed to disagree, that shows you are sure of thoughts at that moment in time. I wouldn't ever want to dismiss thoughts completely though, maybe come back to them at a later date. Try and understand the view of others, they're a person too. Just because it might not be your way, doesn't mean it is the wrong way.

Being your own leader/ person is always going to require these thoughts of accepting, resisting and revising. Amending thoughts along the way. Knowing that where you are now, is not where you will be in in a month, 5 months or a years time.

Surround yourself with people who understand the journey and want to be a part of yours.

Be excited by the opportunity to develop others, be excited by the opportunity to develop yourself.

Rwanda Revisited

2 years this week since travelling to Rwanda with The FA as a part of the Changing Lives Programme.

2 years since I was threatened to be thrown out of a hotel window, forgot the pin code to the safe, got food poisoning and, jokes aside, had the most amazing experience.

During that week Jacques who looked after us said, going to another country is like getting a degree with the amount you learn.. far more than your set our or expect to. Just like a degree, the learning doesn't always seem useful or make sense straight away. It is over time, reflection and taking a step back which allows dots to be connected.

The more I reflect, the more I see the food poisoning and Rwandan Hospital situation a blessing in disguise. Before flying out I was told to start believing in myself - something I'm still not great at - but that day of not being at the festival but being told of how the leaders I was working with did, took on challenges and let the kids play made and continues to remind me that even when we think we aren't we most certainly are making a difference.

The fact that young leader meant experience, nobody is too old to learn or at a disadvantage because of time passed. But rather the willingness and desire to learn, to use football to make a difference.The fact that people who have lived through the genocide and lost friends and family were and are able to move on and want to make a difference to the lives of others is nothing short of phenomenal. 

Actually, those little things, the moments, those are the big things. Whether it was the awkward valentines lift moment, pillow fights, Cool Runnings in the hotel in London before we left. The realisation of how much people care, how much The FA has invested in me as a person to make a difference to others. That difference might be incredibly small in the eyes of a coach or leader in England, but in a country which has been 'through the mill' of turbulent times, making a difference to 4 people's lives is a tremendous effort and to those 4 people, it is huge. 

A time where adaptability was everything. Oh no we've no kit! Where have all these kids come from? My leaders are still explaining and we started 5 minutes ago! Typical, we come to Africa and bring a flood of rain with us! Sarah can you speak French?, 'oui' - oh no now they think I'm fluent! These things happen. But how we responded was the key. 

Mistakes happened every 2 seconds, But I guess after the greatest storms come the clearest skies. The struggles, the mistakes, the doubts, the 'what am I doings?' turned into, they've got it, changes to games, new ideas, leaders not standing in the middle of the session for it to happen, organisation and progress.

It might not be down to me, but I'd like to think I helped, seeing photos of returning leaders last year and recognising those who I mentored, seeing they had returned to learn more. We all know that it is positive experiences which bring kids back [or parents], but that is the same for all of us. What a rewarding thought.

The more I reflect, the more I know Big John is right.. it's all about people. And it always is. How we move things forwards. Those who I travelled with who are now life long friends, people who spent the week allowing me to make my mistakes and learn from them [never order a Rwandan burger!] people who care, and that is something really special.

The memories make me smile everyday. The thought that I had a positive influence in the life of another is beyond belief. Knowing I was confident and able to deliver an international programme and support the journey of others and my peers - that's beyond words.

Those small things, those moments.. it turns out they were the really big things.