So I've left it a while since the last blog, this isn't to say I haven't been busy. A lot of things have occurred, which when put together create a big difference. But this post isn't about these events and opportunities I have created and had.
I've had some really top news over the last week. I have a date to have the key hole surgery on my knee, 28th March - let's be honest that's not too far away. I've had a week to think about things and sort out my diary and really reflect upon the last 2 1/2 years. I touched on it at the end of the last blog, I have already climbed a couple of mountains and I am on one heck of a journey. But in 5 or so months time when I am fully fit again, what am I going to do? To be fair, I don't know if I want to play again - just because I am enjoying coaching and everything I am doing volunteer wise. I love football, every time I knock a ball around at training a little spark lights up, 'like the old times.' But it's like starting again. This a dilemma which I really don't want. Sure it would be easy to say just find a team and play again. But games would be when I coach. I could stop coaching, but I enjoy it far too much and I won't be giving up on anyone. If I could find a compromise of playing Sunday mornings and training on a Thursday, I would have 1 free night a week to do uni work. Such a hard decision to try and piece together.
In a recent conversation, someone said they try not to mention things they've done cause they think it might annoy me, if it's something which I would have liked to have done. This got me thinking. If I hadn't stopped playing, I wouldn't have even reached base camp, I would have 0 experience, 0 qualifications and not a lot to show for myself. When I hear the term 'you're lucky' I get quite frustrated. I am not lucky. I have worked incredibly hard, decided to stay in football when playing wasn't an option, put in hours when the weather has put players off training. I've shown a bit of reliability which has led to a lot of my opportunities. I've shown desire to push myself as a person, not just a coach. And at the end of the day a whole lot of passion, 'cause without that football is just a sport. A passion to develop people, not just players. Sure I get really frustrated about football, but that's because I care.
I am currently trying to improve my self confidence, the guide I am using is helping and the first step is to name my 10 best achievements. 9/10 have only been possible since becoming a volunteer in football and being a part of the Football Futures Programme.
1. Retaining a place on the National
Coach Scholarship Programme
2. Returning to the Youth Sport Trust’s,
National Young Coaches Academy as a Young Coach Mentor after winning an award
as a Young Coach in 2012.
3. Getting full marks at college in my
BTEC National Diploma, D*D*D*
4. Landing a voluntary role with ISFA,
enabling me to travel around the country setting up and running football
tournaments
5. Playing and coaching for Wrekin
Juniors.
6. Moving to university.
7. Completing over 750 voluntary hours
within football over the last 3 seasons
8. Creating and hitting a goal set to
improve eye contact when in 1-1 and group conversations.
9. Identifying my weaknesses as a person
and coach and having a want to improve them.
It puts a smile on my face looking back over these opportunities, the only thing not on that list which would be '11.' is attenting the FA Football Futures National Camp. I wasn't lucky to go to these events, I didn't get full marks on my college course because the tutors felt like being nice that day. There are so many opportunities I have missed, or not quite been good enough for.. But I know I've got to work harder if I want to be offered these other opportunities. Not wanting to sound 'big headed' I have been to so many events and worked with some amazing people, but that doesn't mean I cant ask more of myself and have a want to go further.
'The harder I work, the luckier I get.' <---Epitomises the last few years.
Next week I am working with Shropshire and Lancashire FA with their Young Leadership/Football Futures days. Is that luck that 2 counties want me to help them? no. Is it luck that I get to lead young leaders as a young leader? no. I want to be the best that I can be, I want to inspire as many people as I can, I want show that if you put in the effort you will be rewarded - without fail. Sure I am 1 of a smalll minority who gets these experiences, but after a lot of thinking I feel confident enough to say it's because I deserve them.
There will be a blog covering the 2 county days, 18th & 22nd February.
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