The FA Changing Lives Programme: Rwanda 2014 [Part III]

That's the narrative part complete.

I've come home from Rwanda a better person, not a different person. My tag line [which hasn't been stolen, yes it is mine!] is that I've come home with wider eyes. Wider eyes in a sense of a deeper understanding of the world and a 3rd world community, a deeper understanding of mentoring and working people and wider eyes surrounding my own capabilities.

I went out there with the quote 'Sometimes we face a different kind of blindness. We don't see what we're capable of, because we don't see out own possibilities.' I fell victim to this, but I now believe it sums up my Rwanda experience. I couldn't see my own capabilities because I never trusted them. Steve told me before going that I need to believe in myself more, now you cant just put it on in the morning on have it ready in your backpack. Rwanda provided me with a platform to push myself and use everything I've learnt. I have come home a better person for letting go and trusting my own capabilities. They say that faith is taking the first step when you cant see the full staircase, last week I took those first steps, stopped when I couldn't see the next step.. but after deliberating I carried on and found the success I had worked for.

This is completely shown through the session I delivered. I was comfortable because I trusted myself, I was sure of what I was doing. Not cocky or arrogant, but sure of myself. I took charge, changed it when necessary did things properly and didn't worry about anything because I had it all under control.

I went with the want to develop my problem solving abilities, I can say I've done that. By being prepared everyday I could respond to any problems on the spot. Part of me thinks that I was the real problem in it all. The biggest barrier was myself, after overcoming that I have been able to delve into every situation head on.
Obviously, there is the serious side to this. I found ways to communicate with all of my team when speaking English wasn't appropriate. When things weren't working I looked for ways around them either by persevering or stepping in. Decision making was vital, how and when to approach an issue.

As I think back through my week, I overcame some tremendous challenges. The flying, I've not been on a long haul flight for 12 years. The Genocide Museum, yes it was difficult and really hit home, but I've come out the other side. The language, we had a flipping good go at learning it, finding ways to get messages across. Pressure, maybe, that which I put on myself to do well and be the best I can be. There is no way of going around a hurdle, you either go over it or under it. Run at speed, or get there slow down and think before stepping over it. Either way, you still get over it.

Even though I've written the majority of this blog, spoken to many people and put together a video, words still don't fit the bill to describe the journey I've been on. Nothing anyone said to me before hand prepared me for the experience I had, and nothing will come close to it in any future experiences.

I'm still reflecting, thinking about each part of the week. The way in which my group took in ideas and areas to work on and really did improve. The reflections I had around my own performances, working with experienced FA tutors whose thoughts were provoking and helped to push me further. How could I be better and how I could I help my group more? Sometimes I had to park an idea on the shelf, other times I put ideas straight into action.

As Rudy Ruettiger taught me, '..the journey will be full of struggle, but the greater the struggle, the greater the victory..' My week had more ups and downs than a ride at Blackpool, but without the dips you cant see nor understand the highs. I enjoyed every minute of everyday, I really did. I've pushed myself to be the best I can be, to allow my young leaders the best opportunity they can have to be the best they can be. I really wanted to do things properly and deliver the programme to highest standard I could and I don't think I could have done much more.

The kids have taught me to be happy, there isn't time to be anything else. I've learnt that you cant change the past, but you can play a huge part in the future. Instead of thinking I should have done something better, think what will I do to be better next time. Instead of stressing how far there is left to travel, be grateful that you are able to move in the first place. And something which I already knew, the possibilities are endless if you invest your time in the interests of someone else.

I have my own personal thoughts which will stay that way. My Rwandan Journey may be over, but the legacy will live on.

My thanks go to Speciose, Valentine, Emmanuel and Peter for allowing me the opportunity to help and support them and their learning. For becoming my friends.

To Jacques and his team for looking after us, I hope to return one day and work alongside them again.

 And to these guys.. Thank you to Donna, Steve, Sharon, Jonah, John, Matt, Lauren, Dom and Pete for being a part of my journey, and for allowing me to be a part of theirs. We bounced off each other all week, looked after each other and pushed each other way beyond our limits. I always say, it's not always about the event - but the people who you share it with.. this time the event was very special, but so were the people I spent it with. 9 people who will all have their own memories and personal journeys locked up, 9 people who I was lucky enough to join forces with to become The FA Changing Lives Team 2014. We were the change.

https://vimeo.com/87756986

The FA Changing Lives Programme: Rwanda 2014 [Part II]

Continued..

Morning soon came around and we headed off to our first school. A short drive across town, with a huge amount of reality driving past shanty houses, peering into homes without doors. Numbers of people moving around within shoebox size rooms, not enough food or water..

We arrived at the school early and so had a tour around and met the kids. It brings a smile to my face thinking about it, shaking hands, fist pumps, high fives, hugs and communicating with the children. The way they reacted to us, shows what happens when you invest your time in people, seeing their reactions were priceless. As we moved away from the school and back down the hill we got caught up in break time. Hand shakes galore! Lauren got mobbed by tens of children all wanting a piece of her. Kids amazed by our cameras, they just wanted to meet us and touch us, so overwhelming.

After peeling away we made it to our 'pitch.' Another sand and concrete surface with grass marking the perimeter. I was incredibly pleased to see my group setting up for the game with very little instruction from myself. But my back up plans were soon to be used. We started off we a 10v10, I tried to question my young leaders as to how we could change the game so that the players could be more involved. We managed to get to a point where we had 4 teams all moving around with a football per team, but it took a long time. I really didn't want to have to step in, but for this I needed to. I did my best to persevere and be patient, trying to tease answers from my young leaders, but at times I had to do what was best for everyone and get the kids playing.
By the end of the morning we finished with 4 teams, and 2 mini matches going on.. much better than the 10v10 we started with. Not perfect, but a work in progress. We had a brief reflection on the session, my young leaders said they enjoyed the festival aspect but couldn't understand why there wasn't any competition at the start of the session. It seemed that competition on meant playing a match, not scoring points and then comparing them with another team. I had my work cut out trying to convince them. The tasks for the next day were to read up on our new game and to think about talk time.. moving away from 5 minutes of talking.

We all witnessed an unreal sight at the end of the morning festivals, with minutes left until finishing the school finished for the day and all of the school kids poured out of classrooms and descended down the hill towards us. What a sight! However, this turned into another slot of reality, they all came clambering through the boxes of water bottles which were out for those taking part in the session. All empty bottles were snapped up by the kids in seconds. Another showcasing of the real problems out there, not the pitches without grass, those without phones.. but those without water.

Back to the hotel for lunch and to ponder over the morning's action, I was struggling to comprehend with the fact that developments were small. Without thinking properly, I just got into a spin of thoughts that I wasn't doing things properly, or that I had missed something and that's why we weren't progressing.. when really the difference from the first to the last morning sessions were huge.

The afternoon provided me with an eye opening opportunity as we headed across to the University of Rwanda. We delivered a workshop around small sided football and how to run different types of tournaments. From the conversations I had, it is clear how high the level of intellect is at the university, how much knowledge the students had was far and above what I expected.

We looked at league systems and knock out tournaments, how they worked and what a world cup tournament would look like. This after a brief session around the 4 corner model. We soon headed outside to put on our own World Cup. I spent time showing some of the students how to run the scoreboard, how to put in scores and then work out the winners.

It was an eventful afternoon which passed very quickly. I really enjoyed taking hold of discussions with my group and having fun with the tasks. Hopefully more small sided football will be played at the University, but only time will tell.

At the hotel we had Jacques and some of the Dream Academy join us for tea. I had a quiet evening, listening to conversations and going over my thoughts for the day. I had a chat with Pete and had a bit of a wobble, relaying my thoughts around slow developers, worrying that I was letting the team down - I expected a mini wobble, but I'm glad to have had such high support from the team around me. Pete was class, pointed out the facts that without us there wouldn't be any progress at all. Explaining how his group were doing and the problems he was facing with his group. A proper heart to heart which put me at ease.

I enjoyed being a spectator at dinner, Jacques noticed my quiet side, but I was listening to everything. It was interesting to hear that mini soccer in Rwanda is 5-a-side. This shows how things translate across the world, but don't always have the same meaning. Unfortunately this is the point at which I look back on and wish I hadn't have followed suit and had a burger for tea.. more on this to come.

No video diary that night, straight into the sack to sleep.

Thursday morning swung round, so did my first bout of illness. My tender stomach was greeted with a slab of toast and multiple tablets.

I had a deep conversation with Steve, going over the previous days' action. I was given the do what you enjoy speech and we moved on. My task was to ask better questions which were though provoking, not closed.

Onto the school, we set up, sorted everything out. I set my challenges for the day, we were ready to go.. then a few hundred kids came around the corner! Unbelievable scenes! We were given a huge welcome by the children who sang to us, their head teacher cancelled their morning lessons so that they could watch us deliver. Wow, that was overwhelming. Lessons being cancelled because of our visit.

What a welcome!

My teams sessions started well, less talk time and straight into the warm up. We split into 2 pitches and had small sided games. Much better than the previous session. We moved across to a new game which turned into a bit of a problem with people not knowing where they were going, then we had extra children running off the bank to join in, by the time we got playing that session was over! We went back to our original game, 2 pitches, 2 young leaders on each. Everyone was playing and the problems surrounding competition had been resolved.

By the festival my young leaders were running things by themselves. I was able to take a  back seat and watch the football being played. There was me worrying about the small amounts of development, when really it was the tip of the iceberg.

We had a reflection session inside with John where I gave my young leaders 2 positives and 2 areas for development. The 2 areas for development were to spend less time talking and to split the players into teams quicker. Goals to think about over lunch before the afternoon session.

We arrived at the Dream Academy, there was so much space! I set up our session just so that we could get playing quickly. I set out bibs into lines so that players could just pick them up instead of being passed out from a massive bundle.

Before the kids arrived, me and my young leaders had a conversation about the development areas and any changes which they wanted to make. It was a fantastic conversation which led to a new warm up and a very structured way of delivery. 2 young leaders per pitch, 2 mini sessions. I was able to walk around and question my young leaders, what was going on, what were they seeing and thinking. I was able to find ways to communicate with all of my young leaders. Even better, none of them were stood right in the middle of the game. I had managed to get across the 'let them play' point. I reinforced the need to observe and step in when necessary.

We moved session and played Diamonds are Forever. Again 2 pitches and then games were started straight away, very little talk time - Brilliant! Again I took a back seat, watching what was going on and asking questions as we went along. The only time I stepped in was when we needed to stop! I was so chuffed with how things ended up and we still had the festival to go.

I taught a new set of young leader the Target game, showing them pictures of what the game looked like before they delivered it.

We started our festivals, but the excitement soon ended. Match abandoned as the rain fell. Day over, but what a way to finish! With so much of a buzz I sat next to Steve on the ride home telling him how the day had gone. We had a good conversation about reflections and why things had changed, thought provoking as always.

I couldn't wait until the morning for the final festival, waiting to see if I could push my young leaders any further. I wanted to see if they could completely run the festival without any of my help! However, remember that poor meal choice? Well it came back to haunt me, I went back to the room to sleep, awoke at 8pm for tea and couldn't face it. Most of the team went out for an evening with the Rwandan FA, but myself Pete, Dom and Sharon stayed at the hotel.

I had a horrible night with minimal sleep and a lot of bathroom action. I woke up pale and weak, unable to pack my bags let alone do anything else. My Rwandan Journey was over. Myself and Dom stayed at the hotel whilst the others went to enjoy their final day. A doctor was called but to no answer, we ended up in a Rwandan hospital being treated for food poisoning. I was hooked up to a drip whilst Dom got fed antibiotics before heading back to the hotel bed. Not the ending I was hoping for, but there was nothing I could do.

There were positives, news had spread about the success of the morning. I had massages of love passed on and John told me how well my group of young leaders did. I was as happy as I could be, wish I could have seen them - but knowledge of their achievements filled me up. Knowing that what I had gone over there to do, deliver and develop young leaders, had been done felt amazing! I may have gotten stressed over the week, but that's because I care. I wanted to do the best job I could and I believe I did just that.. well that's what the results say to me.

I had a difficult journey back to England, a long flight feeling terrible, struggling to sleep and just craving my bed.

We arrived back in England and said our goodbyes. I couldn't believe how quickly the week had come and gone. I've got some friends for life, people who I cant wait to meet up with again and I look forwards to reminiscing with them in the near future.

I'm going to use a separate blog post for my reflections, but I've come home a better person. I had my mid week wobble, but I expected it. What an experience which now feels surreal, so many laughs and smiling kids, conversations and peer development. A week I wont ever forget because of the personal journey I was on.

The FA Changing Lives Programme: Rwanda 2014 [Part I]

15-22nd February 2014, The FA Changing Lives Trip 2014

After arriving early to the Park Inn at London Heathrow (Friday 14th February) it was an excitement built afternoon and evening waiting for the team to turn up. Myself and Matt Ford were there early and conversation flowed.. A level of amazement thinking about past young leaders who have been through the Changing Lives Programme and Football Futures.. Realising we were about to become a part of that legacy. 

As the team arrived, excitement continued to build.. That until Donna received a phone call from Steve. Oh no. Flights cancelled. Barriers to participation and we hadn't even left the country! What a nightmare, so much frustration and disappointment.. Trust it to happen the year I go! Fortunately, Donna and the nice lady at ATP solved it and re-booked our flights for Sunday evening. A bit of a wait, but that's where my story truly begins. 

The trip allows 4 young leaders from the Football Futures programme the opportunity to travel to a country in Africa to deliver an international leadership programme to develop young leaders who can then continue a ripple effect of development in their own communities.
 

This year was there first where The FA had returned to a previous country, we were going to further develop those leaders from last year through the Mash Up programme, whilst working with 20 new leaders who would work through The FA Changing Lives Programme Leadership Course. 
 

So.. The trip..

The Changing Lives Team of 2014 was: Donna McIvor, Steve Swallow, John Heathcote, Sharon Muxworthy, Matt Jones, Dominic Best, Matt Ford, Pete Haynes, Lauren Asquith and myself. What an amazing team to be a part of, not just in terms of individuals but as a unit. A group of people passionate about football and wanting to make a change, be the difference. Not only who want to go on their own personal journey, but to also help support and develop others. To push each other well out of their comfort zone!

Lindsey Whitton of West Riding FA told me that the trip would not only change the life of those I work with, but my own.. Words echoed by my Dad when I first got a place on the trip. All of the messages I received prior to departure were overwhelming.. well that's what I thought overwhelming felt like. 

I went with the goal to improve my 'problem solving' abilities, something I struggle with is dealing with problems on the spot. I don't have a thought process, just a mental breakdown of stress and worry that a problem has occurred. My new thought process was.. Problem - 1 Minute Thought - Action - Reflection. This was to have some structure to my thoughts, something to stick to and a route to dealing with any problems. This was a starting point.

Me being me, I had my moments before the trip.. The times where I thought I wasn't good enough, that I might let the team down. So many what ifs, no yeah buts. Yeah but, I know how to manage people and create strong rapports. Yeah but, I've worked hard and deserve this opportunity. 

The extra day and a half spent in the hotel weren't terrible, filled with massive breakfasts, pillow fights, dodgy valentines day lift conversation and ham and picollili sandwiches.. Without the picollili of course. All in all, we got closer as a group and had some outstanding conversations. Those of which I seek at uni with lecturers. 

Time soon ticked on, Sunday morning came and we got to dress in our FA kit. What a feeling that was to be wearing a t-shirt which the FA crest on my chest, knowing I would not only be representing them, but England whilst over in Rwanda. It was another feeling which felt right, like it was my time! This was what dreams are made of. A hefty 4 part breakfast filled me up, by the time we had checked out it was lunch time and the team were once again reunited.. This time all systems were set to go! 

I had been fed previous stories from trips, knowing that the journey would be life changing.. Little did I realise how this previous knowledge wouldn't even scratch the surface of my first hand experience. 

We checked in and through Heathrow, wandered through the boarding gates and convinced a woman we worked for Chelsea. Watched Liverpool lose, drank red bull and started speculating about the week ahead. Kenya Airways were our providers, the team were dotted around the plane sucked in between other tourists.. The journey had properly begun.

It was a long flight, going from London to Nairobi, Steve nearly ate his dinner of my head after managing to draw himself away from the 'Jumpers for Goalposts' esc game. We then travelled from Nairobi to Kigali. 

The Team arriving at Kigali Airport

 

The heat hit us hard after stepping out of the airport, but it was good to see the friends faces of Jacques and Mamim to meet us. Kigali certainly differed to expectations, it was so much greener and built up than I expected. Many shanty towns surrounding the road we were travelling on, these providing the reality of the Rwandan capital. 

Arriving at the hotel again was a bewildering experience, swimming pool, smart lobby and balcony.. How is it possible for there to be such a facility in an area of poverty? Traffic lights capable of counting down the time to cross, swimming pools all surrounded by shanty towns and strugglers. 

We didn't have much time at the hotel before heading out on our first adventure. The plans were to head to the Genocide Memorial Museum and then off to a local orphanage. 

The Genocide Memorial was probably the one aspect I wasn't so much looking forwards to prior to the trip, mainly because I don't deal which those kinds of things very well in an everyday sense. I found the memorial experience very difficult, I have learnt about the genocide at uni, but being there was a different matter. So much more of a reality slap of the devastation, I struggled to comprehend and fully accept everything I was seeing and reading. Images and stories really drove home the level of the situation. Silence fell on the team as we walked through, respects given where due. 

My thoughts following 'The Children's Room' were immediately on the orphans we were going to visit. How was I going to help those children and give them a positive experience to make their day. Hundreds of children who lost family members to the genocide became orphans, so I felt it to be my duty to deliver something enjoyable to lift spirits, even just for that afternoon. 

It was quite surreal heading towards the orphanage, driving down a main road which was pretty much perfect before turning off onto a mud and concrete track down a hill and over many road holes.. Another bout of reality. We went to SOS, which was the name of the orphanage and were told about how the place worked and the children there of which there were hundreds. As we continued to delve into the centre we had our paths crossed by cows and finished at a mound of grass with 60+ children waiting for us. As a team we went straight in to meet the children exclaiming 'Muraho' 'Nit Wa Sarah' , such a buzz was their response. Greeted with smiles. We got into our sessions after 30 seconds planning time, me and Matt F cracked on with a game of football before adding in our restrictions.

Even just a basic game of football made the kids happy, being able to be competitive and enjoy themselves through sport. Such a sight as we take it for granted at home. We were there for an hour which seemed to fly by, before long we were saying goodbye and being sung to. A difficult sight walking away, the children chasing the bus, knowing that they wouldn't get that sort of enjoyment again for a while possibly, and that they were going back to lessons and spending their lives without family. 

We all left the orphanage absolutely buzzing, huge smiles and wanting more. What a surreal experience, children just enjoying the game. 

Back to the hotel for tea/dinner before our first mentoring sessions and Big John's briefing for the start of the leadership programme. My task was set for the next day, to pick out 3 positives from the day... As I've said previously I'm very good at being over critical, even if I have a really positive session, 1 negative will always take priority in my mind. The point of finding positives was to make sure I stayed in a positive mindset constantly and faced challenges in the right way. 

So day 2 of the week in Rwanda, we got up, tried breakfast for the first time, consumed our malaria tablets and were soon on the way to The Federation Rwandaise de Football Association or FERWAFA for short. We were greeted by old and new faces, those of young leaders who were on the programme last year, and those new would be working through the leadership programme.

All of the kit was laid out, speeches were made and the course was finally started! Myself, Matt, Lauren and Pete worked with the new young leaders with Steve and John, whilst MJ, Sharon and Dom delivered the Mash Up programme to last years' young leaders.

We started off by breaking into groups and meeting the leaders we were going to mentor before some ice-breakers. It was stunning to find out the FA YLs were the youngest in the room! It seems that 'young' in Rwanda refers to experience rather than age.

Without letting the age gap phase us, we moved on. In my group I had Valentine, Peter, Speciose and Emmanuel. The first task around 'what makes a good leader' was interesting. At no point did I need to push for answers, I only questioned for my own understanding. We had answers surrounding being the friend of your players, respect, discipline and self-confidence. What a fantastic start to the day. These thoughts founded our code of conduct for the week.

We soon moved outside and onto the practical activity, John went through a couple of warm up activities before we delivered our games.
It was a surreal environment.. sand, stones and concrete formed the playing surface. The Rwandan national stadium in the background and we even had a crowd stay and watch. I covered all mediums of delivery, visuals on a whiteboard, demonstrations, walking through the activity as well as speaking. It's weird thinking back, but that 15 minutes was the most comfortable I've every felt in a coaching situation, yet I had never been there before. Do you know what?.. I felt confident, trusted myself and backed myself.

Delivering my session.

All of the games were delivered before heading back to the hotel for lunch, that until Steve lost the room key! Luckily I had seen a key outside and so rushed back to find it, don't worry all danger was averted.

Following lunch we looked at running events and the types of tournaments you can run before planning for the delivery of our first festivals. My group who strived during the morning, struggled to plan. I continued to be patient and persevere as we slowly worked towards an outcome. At times I wanted to do it all for them, but how would that help? Anyway, we reached 5.25pm with a basic plan in place. Fantastic after it first seemed we'd never had a warm up!

Arriving back at the hotel felt pleasant following the days' challenges. Time to reflect and plan myself for the festival. My plans were all back-ups, anything that I thought could bring up an issue, I planned for.

Dinner followed by a mentoring sesh followed by bed, well bed was after my video diary efforts which Lauren wasn't amused by.. I'm quite fortunate not to have been thrown over the balcony!!


To be continued...