That's the narrative part complete.
I've come home from Rwanda a better person, not a different person. My tag line [which hasn't been stolen, yes it is mine!] is that I've come home with wider eyes. Wider eyes in a sense of a deeper understanding of the world and a 3rd world community, a deeper understanding of mentoring and working people and wider eyes surrounding my own capabilities.
I went out there with the quote 'Sometimes we face a different kind of blindness. We don't see what we're capable of, because we don't see out own possibilities.' I fell victim to this, but I now believe it sums up my Rwanda experience. I couldn't see my own capabilities because I never trusted them. Steve told me before going that I need to believe in myself more, now you cant just put it on in the morning on have it ready in your backpack. Rwanda provided me with a platform to push myself and use everything I've learnt. I have come home a better person for letting go and trusting my own capabilities. They say that faith is taking the first step when you cant see the full staircase, last week I took those first steps, stopped when I couldn't see the next step.. but after deliberating I carried on and found the success I had worked for.
This is completely shown through the session I delivered. I was comfortable because I trusted myself, I was sure of what I was doing. Not cocky or arrogant, but sure of myself. I took charge, changed it when necessary did things properly and didn't worry about anything because I had it all under control.
I went with the want to develop my problem solving abilities, I can say I've done that. By being prepared everyday I could respond to any problems on the spot. Part of me thinks that I was the real problem in it all. The biggest barrier was myself, after overcoming that I have been able to delve into every situation head on.
Obviously, there is the serious side to this. I found ways to communicate with all of my team when speaking English wasn't appropriate. When things weren't working I looked for ways around them either by persevering or stepping in. Decision making was vital, how and when to approach an issue.
As I think back through my week, I overcame some tremendous challenges. The flying, I've not been on a long haul flight for 12 years. The Genocide Museum, yes it was difficult and really hit home, but I've come out the other side. The language, we had a flipping good go at learning it, finding ways to get messages across. Pressure, maybe, that which I put on myself to do well and be the best I can be. There is no way of going around a hurdle, you either go over it or under it. Run at speed, or get there slow down and think before stepping over it. Either way, you still get over it.
Even though I've written the majority of this blog, spoken to many people and put together a video, words still don't fit the bill to describe the journey I've been on. Nothing anyone said to me before hand prepared me for the experience I had, and nothing will come close to it in any future experiences.
I'm still reflecting, thinking about each part of the week. The way in which my group took in ideas and areas to work on and really did improve. The reflections I had around my own performances, working with experienced FA tutors whose thoughts were provoking and helped to push me further. How could I be better and how I could I help my group more? Sometimes I had to park an idea on the shelf, other times I put ideas straight into action.
As Rudy Ruettiger taught me, '..the journey will be full of struggle, but the greater the struggle, the greater the victory..' My week had more ups and downs than a ride at Blackpool, but without the dips you cant see nor understand the highs. I enjoyed every minute of everyday, I really did. I've pushed myself to be the best I can be, to allow my young leaders the best opportunity they can have to be the best they can be. I really wanted to do things properly and deliver the programme to highest standard I could and I don't think I could have done much more.
The kids have taught me to be happy, there isn't time to be anything else. I've learnt that you cant change the past, but you can play a huge part in the future. Instead of thinking I should have done something better, think what will I do to be better next time. Instead of stressing how far there is left to travel, be grateful that you are able to move in the first place. And something which I already knew, the possibilities are endless if you invest your time in the interests of someone else.
I have my own personal thoughts which will stay that way. My Rwandan Journey may be over, but the legacy will live on.
My thanks go to Speciose, Valentine, Emmanuel and Peter for allowing me the opportunity to help and support them and their learning. For becoming my friends.
To Jacques and his team for looking after us, I hope to return one day and work alongside them again.
And to these guys.. Thank you to Donna, Steve, Sharon, Jonah, John, Matt, Lauren, Dom and Pete for being a part of my journey, and for allowing me to be a part of theirs. We bounced off each other all week, looked after each other and pushed each other way beyond our limits. I always say, it's not always about the event - but the people who you share it with.. this time the event was very special, but so were the people I spent it with. 9 people who will all have their own memories and personal journeys locked up, 9 people who I was lucky enough to join forces with to become The FA Changing Lives Team 2014. We were the change.
https://vimeo.com/87756986
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