Amongst the Chaos.

They say, amongst the the chaos is where you find the most calm. It's when you're surrounded by the masses, that you can feel most alone. Paradoxically, it is in the small that we find the big. 

The problem is, too many people are looking at the big and not seeing the small. The small, genuine moments and opportunities to connect, be present and to change the world in eyes of others. It doesn't take much to start noticing, just the ability to stop and think. 

Last week saw the start of the Sport Industry Next Gen Programme, where I alongside 29 peers were inducted onto the 2019 programme. Meeting for the first time, and starting the next chapter of our journeys together. 

Tagline of the 'top 30 under 30', this group of individuals are lighting up the sporting industry across so many roles and organisations. Leading the line for change, evolution and creating new pathways for others to follow. I'm humbled to be one of them. Last week, we met for the first time. Supported by an incredible team of coaches, the group seemed to fit perfectly in place. Everyone was present to the thoughts of others, wanting to raise everyone up, willing 'success' for all. I like that. I think there is something powerful in people building up others. We need more of that.

For an afternoon in February, I was able to come away from reality and immerse myself in the interest and needs of others. Technology switched off. Felt connection, definitely on. 

I decided to give myself permission to feel confident, to feel deserving, to enjoy every moment without guilt. Something I don't do enough. For why, I don't know. I guess I see myself as a servant of my team, of my cause. The job is never done, we can always do more and be more. I guess I fear confidence, and the broken line into arrogance. I fear it, so I avoid it. I wonder what else I have missed out on because of fear. 

Yesterday I was sent photos from the time we had together last week. I don't usually like photos of me, but this one caught me. 

There's so much going on. I was talking about my perception of leadership, but that really is irrelevant. 

This is Sarah Nickless, comfortable in the company of new acquaintances, seemingly happy. And I was. I need more of this. We all do. 

The space to be our unapologetic best. 

As Roald Dahl put it:
'A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.'