I get a lot of stick for the emotional kid that I am, some of these blog posts prove that. Realising the morals and key features of the Football Futures Programme, what's important in life and why we're all teachers. I've come to realise how other things have really helped and put me in the place I am.
Uni has taught me about socialisation, theories about how we act, react.. take opinions, revise them and reshape them. But sometimes there is a much deeper meaning behind it all. I constantly read on twitter, in books, in lectures about allowing people to be creative, to.. try things, experiment.. Never miss out on an opportunity to experiment is what someone said last year. All of this and I think, yeah great, the kids are trying Maradona turns, attempting a Neymar penalty run up and creating their own route around a football pitch.
I've done a lot of thinking, isn't this just the basis for life? I might be wrong.
I've grown up with the freedom to make my own decisions, follow the muddy path that hasn't been travelled.. As long as it's the one I want. To follow my dreams, MY dreams. I've not been pushed into A levels, a degree which will guarantee a job because I don't want that.
Making a decision requires courage, doesn't it? Or does choosing what you want, stem from courage? Possibly both. The courage to think past the draw backs which may follow, the possibility of being wrong.. even if there is just a glimmer of being right. Someone once said it's the journey, not the destination. So those courageous decisions may evolve into a fantastic journey of learning, but finish in defeat. Still the winner though, cause I've enjoyed the journey?
Through my year 8 options, friends at school, college choices, football team, uni, and most importantly my dreams, I've had nothing but support from my parents and family. I'd say I've followed what appears to be right, going to to uni before heading out into the world, but no one said that's the only way. I've created my own pathway, defined by me and what I stand for, but shared with people who want me to succeed.. and if I don't, to have learnt along the way.
I look to my Dad, the man who never fails to bring tears to me eyes when he tells me how proud he is of what I'm achieving. The man who told me to chase after my dreams, fill my life with what I enjoy - that's how you get rich. Rich on life. To my Mom who hates the fact I might not return home from uni, but can't wait to tell everyone what I'm doing and having those 'proud Mom' moments. How amazing is that, giving your parents 'proud parent moments.' I can't even word it.
Do you know what's even cooler, is I'm not going out there to create 'proud parent moments.' I'm just doing what I enjoy, taking everything which I can (literally) and pondering down a muddy path which seems to be leading to an unknown place.
I've got Becky who sticks out a Facebook status when I'm off away, attempts to get a hug out of me when I'm home, and is just there when I need her. Moments that I smile about. Ben who treats me like a celebrity when I'm with him, doesn't want me to leave, telling me I'm not allowed to go back to Preston. 2 people aged 21 and 5 who I can talk to about anything, who can both bring out the best in me without even trying.
So incredibly lucky to have an amazing family of number 1 Sarah supporters. Friends who tell their parents about me, what I'm doing and where I'm going. It's crazy sometimes, this kid from Telford creating a life full of experiences and enjoyment. The people who I've not spoken to for ages, but still care and are amazed at the things I've done.
Looking now at teachers, coaches, colleagues, mentors... people. People who aren't there to modify me into a version of them, but to help create the best Sarah Nickless. To be a part of this journey. Although they speak through experience and for the best, they are more people just throwing in a thought.. Allowing me to make my own mistakes.
Throughout all of this, it's me who is the decision maker. I sometimes think, are these recent successes fate? Does having a troubled childhood equal a successful future? I guess probably not. But it certainly allows me to enjoy and appreciate everything, knowing the past.
The mad thing is, sometimes I sit and read my blog to reminisce, and I wonder how I've done all the things I have. I've grown up knowing that you work hard for what you get, things don't get put on a plate. The things I've achieved, are things I haven't gone looking for. I've not asked for them, they've come to me. Just like progressions in a session, they kind of come naturally. You've just got to decide of to let them pass or take the opportunity.
There's also this thing of, oh that will look great on your cv, or that'll help when getting a job... Never once have I thought that when applying for something or going to an event. I've done things because I enjoy them, and want to get better. Not because it's a CV enhancer or might get me an award. If that's what we're aiming for then nothing will be learnt, events won't be enjoyed and at the end of it you won't be able to recognise the value of what's been achieved. Where the fun in that, going places to be able to say that you've been there.. but done what?
I've never really thought about it, but this freedom, it's what's working for me. A want to enjoy things, do what I like doing. Obviously the support helps to no end, but ultimately only I can make the final decisions. Sarah's Wild Adventure has gotten me this far. Being who I want to be, doing what I want to do.
Things like having a bit of hope to play football again, but then veering off in a different direction of volunteering, has been the best thing which has every happened to me. I wouldn't wish injury upon anyone, but I'm so grateful for mine, which has provided a head turn which is continuing to be a huge part of the journey.
I've got some unbelievable people around me. Not everything is fine and dandy, the river still floods every now and then. But as we know, the rivers still flow. And it's this little bit of force which turns our stream, into a river and into the sea which then goes all over the world.
Fortunate to have people around me who care and want to what's best, fortunate enough to be able to make my own decisions.
I've learnt that by doing the right things, gets you noticed by the right people. Being allowed a freedom in life gets you as far as freedom on a pitch. That turn might not pull off every time, but to get past the hurdle/player/ challenge you've got to be ready. Back your decision, and if it doesn't pull off first time, go again.
Bit of a mind dump, it's come after watching a film last night. Not really FF related, but it doesn't really have to be.
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