For context, letter written for FA Youth Council end of season dinner if I was unable to speak from my heart. It went unopened, but worth sharing, as my gratitude and love goes beyond those in the room.
July 2019
Hopefully this doesn't get opened or read. But in the probable case that you're crying uncontrollably and need some help - here it is. You've always been better at writing than speaking.
I've always wanted the same for you as I have Ben. I wanted you to have someone to rely on, someone you can depend on. Someone who will always be here.
There's no hiding this season has been a bit of a pickle. Personally, I couldn't cope with things going on around me. But there is a reason I left my job before jeopardising my role here. To paraphrase JK Rowling, Youth Council has been my Hogwarts - always welcoming me home. You all have. It hurts me knowing how hurt some of us have been because of mental health reasons. I'm proud we've built a culture where we've been able to share our challenges. All I've ever tried to do is protect you all and Youth Council, for it to remain a safe space for us all.
I hope I've served you all as expected. It's been a genuine honour and the greatest privilege of my life so far. I've worn our badge, lived our culture and followed our compass every step of the way.
There are so many people who have helped me over the last 10 years. Who believed in me when I wasn't sure I could find it in myself. I've sat through too many FA restructures. Ridden the ebb and flow of FA life and am so incredibly grateful for my close friends, family and mentors who have helped me bring the zoo to life.Who have had my back and supported me along this pursuit.
There are so many people who have helped me over the last 10 years. Who believed in me when I wasn't sure I could find it in myself. I've sat through too many FA restructures. Ridden the ebb and flow of FA life and am so incredibly grateful for my close friends, family and mentors who have helped me bring the zoo to life.Who have had my back and supported me along this pursuit.
I've written you all a letter, and you deserve so much more. I've bought a gift and will attempt a speech about our staff and vice-chairs, or I'll read their letters if I can't manage that.
I'm so grateful to The FA for investing in me. Supporting and giving me the opportunities to create the journey I've had. Time for me to give the shirt back, and pass it on. Please always follow your moral compass, not the marks of time or worse - any kind of KPI. The world, and you are better than that.
I think Toy Story 4 said it best. I, like Andy, cant hold onto a kid, or role anymore. I need to be a lost toy - but I'm not really lost at all. Not anymore.
At the end of that Lionesses documentary, Steph Houghton closed the show with a few thoughts which mirror mine- so here they are:
'I don't ever take this role for granted, for the last 4-5 years it's been a roller-coaster - it's been a roller-coaster but I've enjoyed ever single minute. I'm really proud to wear the England shirt, I'm really proud to be part of such a special group and even more proud, especially for my family that I've been able to lead these girls our team out and really hopefully go onto something greater than we've ever done before.'
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