I've written a few blogs about Football Futures, how it works and has changed people's lives, and mine in many more ways than just within football. I'm well aware of the numerous quotes I've been dropping onto twitter, a lot of them relate to my journey and my thoughts of others. Maybe it's wrong that I post them, I don't know.
Anyway, I don't want to throw another emotional strop onto the pile. I'm hoping this gets a message across.
Football Futures has allowed me to connect with people who have a similar interest, people who enjoy being in football - working and helping others.. this something which I find fantastic, I really do. I've got so much time for people who want to help others, not just themselves. FF has taught me a number of things, patience, perseverance, that anything is possible.. well within reason. Most importantly, I've learnt that everyone has something to teach you. It's not just about learning off those more experienced, but asking questions of the people you least expect. Not over-looking people because of perceptions, everyday is a school day, everyone is a teacher - but only if you're prepared to learn.
I honestly believe that FF is about influencing others as well as your own journey, working together to develop individually.. if that makes sense? Through my years on the programme, personal develop is massive.. way more important than professional. I may be wrong, but my personal development has opened doors and has been the key to opportunities. It's about being committed to being the best person you can be. That means investing time in yourself. Now, I don't mean to copy one of those shouty motivational videos or anything of the kind.. I'm not saying lock yourself away and just sit with yourself, that doesn't appeal to everyone. If you're given opportunities, events whatever they're not just to attend and enjoy, there needs to be some sort of legacy- some longevity. Opportunities are there to help you better yourself, to improve your personal not your CV.
In Rwanda, Matt Jones posed the question 'if you could sit on a bench for an hour with anyone, gone or alive and just chat - who would it be?' That's a good question, my answer was blank. Since being a part of FF, I've lost interest in celebrities, stars and those in the limelight. Everyone who I want to talk to, I have access to. My role models are all around me because I've come to realise the qualities which they hold, I don't go looking for people - nor do I wait for them to come to me - I enjoy being around people, trying to better them and allowing them to better me. I've learnt not to become bitter or competitive about trivial rubbish, I work as hard as anyone, I enjoy it and surely that's got to be important right?
In sport, these 'marginal gains' are everywhere, why cant they be seen off the field as well as on it? Maybe they are. I can name all of mine, eye contact, speeches, that magical confidence, a little bit of will power and belief. It's the small things which most people don't see, the intangible not just the in your face stuff. I sometimes struggle to explain the benefits of FF, not because there aren't any [LOL that'd be ridiculous!], but because they aren't visual. You cant explain the personal gains, and some people don't recognise these personal gains, the size of them and the feelings of them. I can't word how much I've changed since 2010, I'm not a new person, I'm a better person.
Throughout all of this, so my FF journey, I continue to chat on about people. Those I've met and get the pleasure to work with. There are a handful of people who have to put up with a lot of my moaning, negativity, successes and challenges [I hope they don't mind]. I'm in a position where people care about my development and want to support it, which is magnificent. You cant repay someone for giving up time for you, you cant give it back. I've learnt to make the most of people's time and show my thanks for it, it's not just good manners, but you cant just take a bit here and there. I kind of want to get into a position where people can look up to me like I do to others [this might be happening already, don't know]. To have people ask for help, not try and dominate them because I want to have some ownership, there's no need. Just to be in a position where I'm needed, not wanting to sound arrogant at all, but I don't think I'm there yet.
We've come to learn that it's the quiet ones who might be missing out, but how do you recognise these? The loud ones are either taking up someone else's space or taking up time. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but the quiet ones are probably getting on with their development, whilst the loud ones are consistently talking about theirs.
So after all of this, I've settled down to this:
-> Personal/ marginal gains are important, but you've got to want to succeed in that area; not just hope it's a side effect from other things.
-> People are all around you, embrace them and their qualities.
->Everyone has something to teach you, but they cant if you're not open to learning. Don't overlook these opportunities.
-> Enjoy your success, don't brag about it, learn from it.
Monday, 21 April 2014
Tuesday, 15 April 2014
Whey Aye.. Durham FF Camp.. Like
This week I've been fortunate enough to travel across a few counties and work with different individuals who are working hard to develop opportunities for young people in football. I've had a fantastic week and genuinely cant wait for the next meetings and events.. it's been one of those 'I love what I do weeks' because there is nothing better than being around people who care about what they do and the development of others.
Although I've been in 4 different counties this week I want to share my experience from Friday 11th April 2014...
After following #DFACamp14 on twitter all week I was ridiculously excited to be heading up to Durham for the final day of their Football Futures Camp. Over 150 young people had been in the camp working with the Durham FA Youth Forum and Referees Academy. An event which perfectly epitomises the Football Futures Programme, ran by young people, for young people.
Waking up Friday morning at 4.20am was a lot easier than expected following 4 hours of sleep, those are the mornings that are enjoyable though - so many thoughts of what the day would hold were fizzing around my head. Thus alongside nerves surrounding a closing speech I was to deliver.
Arriving into Durham with the sun shining and the sound of Northern accents put a smile on my face. Soon to be met by Miranda and Marcelo of Durham's Youth Forum who showed me a tour of the North trying to find East Durham College!
I cant really word the welcome I got, both humbling and exciting meeting the Team Leaders and Youth Forum who genuinely seemed quite excited to meet me.. that or they were having an exceptionally good week.. I'd suggest the latter :]
I spent my day popping in and out of the different sessions going on, Event Management, Coaching, Futsal and Refereeing. Each one was captivating, leaving many key messages in the young leaders' minds.
It was timed well, walking into the Events Management session just after the Team Sixteen video was shown. Seeing Kieren Laverick and John Heathcote delivering was pleasing as always. Says a lot about the programme how Kieren started as a young leader and had worked his way up to now delivering workshops as a tutor. The events workshop was around Team Sixteen and Team Nineteen; understanding the aims of the initiatives before planning what a Team16/19 tournament/event could look like if one was to be run in their school/college. The workshop was then taken outside where the Young Leaders could see how a tournament would run, whilst being a part of it. Using a clever idea from John, there were transfers going on left rights and centre which meant that a tournament could be played between 4 teams and minimal players. The transfers meant that teams could play without having a full team by using other teams' players, but then everyone gets lots of game time.
Sitting in the futsal session was fun, seeing so much interaction and interest from the YLs was great. Everyone wanting to learn and take part. Tony Elliott [Head of goalkeeper coaching - England Futsal and Cerebral Palsy teams] led the sessions, giving the YLs a background and taste of futsal, the skills needed to play the game, laws of the game and some tactics. Going through how futsal uses different parts of the foot, how to 'scoop' the ball, the speed of play. It's was tiring just to watch the speed of the attacking activity which was used. No lines like a typical drill, speed of players moving the ball in and around the 'D', if you weren't shooting you were playing passes at pace into feet, being the pivot laying off for shots. Incredible, unfortunately for me, I didn't see the next progression which I'd been told about, where the game goes from the shooting activity into a counter attacking game.
After hearing a number of good news stories I was shepherded into the refereeing workshop for the afternoon. A workshop run by the Young Leaders from Durham's Refereeing Academy, a new experience for most of them who haven't led or delivered presentations or workshops before. Part if the session was held indoors, looking at the laws of the offside and mass confrontation and the theory behind it, before heading outside to look at the laws in a practical context. I kid you not, I had the time of my life doing mass confrontation. The way the session was thought out was class, being able to go back over referees decisions, showing just how difficult the job is.
I've sat through a number of refereeing workshops, all of which are long, boring and off putting. The guys in Durham, kept things simple, stuck to 2 laws and created their session around that. I honestly think this is how all refereeing workshops should be, and all referee courses for young people. Lets not turn them off with hour long lectures, but throw them into fun sessions which are up to date and show the fun side to refereeing.
I didn't spend too much time in the coaching workshop, mainly because I was being sent off and thrown around in the refereeing workshop, but the FA Tesco Skills team led the coaching sessions - looking at progressing sessions and adaptations to keep everyone involved.
A fun filled day left us with only the closing ceremony left, a video created by Chris Godfrey kicked things off. A snapshot of the event with YLs sharing why they loved the workshops and the Camp. Miranda Makepeace did a top job with her bit of spiel which introduced myself..
It was both humbling and an honour to be at Durham FA's FF Camp 2014, let alone to give a speech at their closing ceremony. Those in the know will know that Durham is well known for their Football Futures programme, knowing this made the event and my role even more special.
I gave a presentation around my Football Futures journey, where I've come from and where I'm going. Other than missing out a couple of lines from my quote, I think everything went well and I got my key messages across. I tried to make a couple of jokes and be myself and the nerves didn't get to me too much. I hope that I came across as a normal person who has worked hard for their success.
After having a few days to reflect, I still think the same about Durham's FF Camp - it was without doubt the best County Camp I've been to. It had a National Camp feel, everyone enjoyed the experience and didn't want it to end, and being honest.. neither did I.
At no point should Durham FA's FF Camp be a point of jealousy, but rather something to aim towards. Not the size of the event, but the learning environment. The ability to trust young people to shape and deliver an event of that size. Young people shaping the learning of other young people? Makes perfect sense to me.
I can only thank Tina Reed, the Durham Youth Forum, Team Leaders, Referees Academy and Young Leaders for looking after me on Friday from the minute I arrived to the minute I left. I felt like one of the team and clearly blended in during the referees workshop. Also a thank you to Kieren Laverick for his support through the pre and post presentation worries.
I tweeted the following quote on twitter last week and I hope that everyone who played a part in the DFA Camp will agree..'The best feeling of happiness, is when you're happy because you've made someone else happy.' I'm sure that everyone who attended Camp went away not wanting to leave after having an unreal learning experience, that comes down to the environment created by some world class young leaders - the future is very bright for Durham!
All that is left for me to say... Can I come again next year?
Although I've been in 4 different counties this week I want to share my experience from Friday 11th April 2014...
After following #DFACamp14 on twitter all week I was ridiculously excited to be heading up to Durham for the final day of their Football Futures Camp. Over 150 young people had been in the camp working with the Durham FA Youth Forum and Referees Academy. An event which perfectly epitomises the Football Futures Programme, ran by young people, for young people.
Waking up Friday morning at 4.20am was a lot easier than expected following 4 hours of sleep, those are the mornings that are enjoyable though - so many thoughts of what the day would hold were fizzing around my head. Thus alongside nerves surrounding a closing speech I was to deliver.
Arriving into Durham with the sun shining and the sound of Northern accents put a smile on my face. Soon to be met by Miranda and Marcelo of Durham's Youth Forum who showed me a tour of the North trying to find East Durham College!
I cant really word the welcome I got, both humbling and exciting meeting the Team Leaders and Youth Forum who genuinely seemed quite excited to meet me.. that or they were having an exceptionally good week.. I'd suggest the latter :]
I spent my day popping in and out of the different sessions going on, Event Management, Coaching, Futsal and Refereeing. Each one was captivating, leaving many key messages in the young leaders' minds.
It was timed well, walking into the Events Management session just after the Team Sixteen video was shown. Seeing Kieren Laverick and John Heathcote delivering was pleasing as always. Says a lot about the programme how Kieren started as a young leader and had worked his way up to now delivering workshops as a tutor. The events workshop was around Team Sixteen and Team Nineteen; understanding the aims of the initiatives before planning what a Team16/19 tournament/event could look like if one was to be run in their school/college. The workshop was then taken outside where the Young Leaders could see how a tournament would run, whilst being a part of it. Using a clever idea from John, there were transfers going on left rights and centre which meant that a tournament could be played between 4 teams and minimal players. The transfers meant that teams could play without having a full team by using other teams' players, but then everyone gets lots of game time.
Sitting in the futsal session was fun, seeing so much interaction and interest from the YLs was great. Everyone wanting to learn and take part. Tony Elliott [Head of goalkeeper coaching - England Futsal and Cerebral Palsy teams] led the sessions, giving the YLs a background and taste of futsal, the skills needed to play the game, laws of the game and some tactics. Going through how futsal uses different parts of the foot, how to 'scoop' the ball, the speed of play. It's was tiring just to watch the speed of the attacking activity which was used. No lines like a typical drill, speed of players moving the ball in and around the 'D', if you weren't shooting you were playing passes at pace into feet, being the pivot laying off for shots. Incredible, unfortunately for me, I didn't see the next progression which I'd been told about, where the game goes from the shooting activity into a counter attacking game.
After hearing a number of good news stories I was shepherded into the refereeing workshop for the afternoon. A workshop run by the Young Leaders from Durham's Refereeing Academy, a new experience for most of them who haven't led or delivered presentations or workshops before. Part if the session was held indoors, looking at the laws of the offside and mass confrontation and the theory behind it, before heading outside to look at the laws in a practical context. I kid you not, I had the time of my life doing mass confrontation. The way the session was thought out was class, being able to go back over referees decisions, showing just how difficult the job is.
I've sat through a number of refereeing workshops, all of which are long, boring and off putting. The guys in Durham, kept things simple, stuck to 2 laws and created their session around that. I honestly think this is how all refereeing workshops should be, and all referee courses for young people. Lets not turn them off with hour long lectures, but throw them into fun sessions which are up to date and show the fun side to refereeing.
I didn't spend too much time in the coaching workshop, mainly because I was being sent off and thrown around in the refereeing workshop, but the FA Tesco Skills team led the coaching sessions - looking at progressing sessions and adaptations to keep everyone involved.
A fun filled day left us with only the closing ceremony left, a video created by Chris Godfrey kicked things off. A snapshot of the event with YLs sharing why they loved the workshops and the Camp. Miranda Makepeace did a top job with her bit of spiel which introduced myself..
It was both humbling and an honour to be at Durham FA's FF Camp 2014, let alone to give a speech at their closing ceremony. Those in the know will know that Durham is well known for their Football Futures programme, knowing this made the event and my role even more special.
I gave a presentation around my Football Futures journey, where I've come from and where I'm going. Other than missing out a couple of lines from my quote, I think everything went well and I got my key messages across. I tried to make a couple of jokes and be myself and the nerves didn't get to me too much. I hope that I came across as a normal person who has worked hard for their success.
After having a few days to reflect, I still think the same about Durham's FF Camp - it was without doubt the best County Camp I've been to. It had a National Camp feel, everyone enjoyed the experience and didn't want it to end, and being honest.. neither did I.
At no point should Durham FA's FF Camp be a point of jealousy, but rather something to aim towards. Not the size of the event, but the learning environment. The ability to trust young people to shape and deliver an event of that size. Young people shaping the learning of other young people? Makes perfect sense to me.
I can only thank Tina Reed, the Durham Youth Forum, Team Leaders, Referees Academy and Young Leaders for looking after me on Friday from the minute I arrived to the minute I left. I felt like one of the team and clearly blended in during the referees workshop. Also a thank you to Kieren Laverick for his support through the pre and post presentation worries.
I tweeted the following quote on twitter last week and I hope that everyone who played a part in the DFA Camp will agree..'The best feeling of happiness, is when you're happy because you've made someone else happy.' I'm sure that everyone who attended Camp went away not wanting to leave after having an unreal learning experience, that comes down to the environment created by some world class young leaders - the future is very bright for Durham!
All that is left for me to say... Can I come again next year?
Friday, 28 February 2014
The FA Changing Lives Programme: Rwanda 2014 [Part III]
That's the narrative part complete.
I've come home from Rwanda a better person, not a different person. My tag line [which hasn't been stolen, yes it is mine!] is that I've come home with wider eyes. Wider eyes in a sense of a deeper understanding of the world and a 3rd world community, a deeper understanding of mentoring and working people and wider eyes surrounding my own capabilities.
I went out there with the quote 'Sometimes we face a different kind of blindness. We don't see what we're capable of, because we don't see out own possibilities.' I fell victim to this, but I now believe it sums up my Rwanda experience. I couldn't see my own capabilities because I never trusted them. Steve told me before going that I need to believe in myself more, now you cant just put it on in the morning on have it ready in your backpack. Rwanda provided me with a platform to push myself and use everything I've learnt. I have come home a better person for letting go and trusting my own capabilities. They say that faith is taking the first step when you cant see the full staircase, last week I took those first steps, stopped when I couldn't see the next step.. but after deliberating I carried on and found the success I had worked for.
This is completely shown through the session I delivered. I was comfortable because I trusted myself, I was sure of what I was doing. Not cocky or arrogant, but sure of myself. I took charge, changed it when necessary did things properly and didn't worry about anything because I had it all under control.
I went with the want to develop my problem solving abilities, I can say I've done that. By being prepared everyday I could respond to any problems on the spot. Part of me thinks that I was the real problem in it all. The biggest barrier was myself, after overcoming that I have been able to delve into every situation head on.
Obviously, there is the serious side to this. I found ways to communicate with all of my team when speaking English wasn't appropriate. When things weren't working I looked for ways around them either by persevering or stepping in. Decision making was vital, how and when to approach an issue.
As I think back through my week, I overcame some tremendous challenges. The flying, I've not been on a long haul flight for 12 years. The Genocide Museum, yes it was difficult and really hit home, but I've come out the other side. The language, we had a flipping good go at learning it, finding ways to get messages across. Pressure, maybe, that which I put on myself to do well and be the best I can be. There is no way of going around a hurdle, you either go over it or under it. Run at speed, or get there slow down and think before stepping over it. Either way, you still get over it.
Even though I've written the majority of this blog, spoken to many people and put together a video, words still don't fit the bill to describe the journey I've been on. Nothing anyone said to me before hand prepared me for the experience I had, and nothing will come close to it in any future experiences.
I'm still reflecting, thinking about each part of the week. The way in which my group took in ideas and areas to work on and really did improve. The reflections I had around my own performances, working with experienced FA tutors whose thoughts were provoking and helped to push me further. How could I be better and how I could I help my group more? Sometimes I had to park an idea on the shelf, other times I put ideas straight into action.
As Rudy Ruettiger taught me, '..the journey will be full of struggle, but the greater the struggle, the greater the victory..' My week had more ups and downs than a ride at Blackpool, but without the dips you cant see nor understand the highs. I enjoyed every minute of everyday, I really did. I've pushed myself to be the best I can be, to allow my young leaders the best opportunity they can have to be the best they can be. I really wanted to do things properly and deliver the programme to highest standard I could and I don't think I could have done much more.
The kids have taught me to be happy, there isn't time to be anything else. I've learnt that you cant change the past, but you can play a huge part in the future. Instead of thinking I should have done something better, think what will I do to be better next time. Instead of stressing how far there is left to travel, be grateful that you are able to move in the first place. And something which I already knew, the possibilities are endless if you invest your time in the interests of someone else.
I have my own personal thoughts which will stay that way. My Rwandan Journey may be over, but the legacy will live on.
My thanks go to Speciose, Valentine, Emmanuel and Peter for allowing me the opportunity to help and support them and their learning. For becoming my friends.
To Jacques and his team for looking after us, I hope to return one day and work alongside them again.
And to these guys.. Thank you to Donna, Steve, Sharon, Jonah, John, Matt, Lauren, Dom and Pete for being a part of my journey, and for allowing me to be a part of theirs. We bounced off each other all week, looked after each other and pushed each other way beyond our limits. I always say, it's not always about the event - but the people who you share it with.. this time the event was very special, but so were the people I spent it with. 9 people who will all have their own memories and personal journeys locked up, 9 people who I was lucky enough to join forces with to become The FA Changing Lives Team 2014. We were the change.
https://vimeo.com/87756986
The FA Changing Lives Programme: Rwanda 2014 [Part II]
Continued..
Morning soon came around and we headed off to our first school. A short drive across town, with a huge amount of reality driving past shanty houses, peering into homes without doors. Numbers of people moving around within shoebox size rooms, not enough food or water..
We arrived at the school early and so had a tour around and met the kids. It brings a smile to my face thinking about it, shaking hands, fist pumps, high fives, hugs and communicating with the children. The way they reacted to us, shows what happens when you invest your time in people, seeing their reactions were priceless. As we moved away from the school and back down the hill we got caught up in break time. Hand shakes galore! Lauren got mobbed by tens of children all wanting a piece of her. Kids amazed by our cameras, they just wanted to meet us and touch us, so overwhelming.
After peeling away we made it to our 'pitch.' Another sand and concrete surface with grass marking the perimeter. I was incredibly pleased to see my group setting up for the game with very little instruction from myself. But my back up plans were soon to be used. We started off we a 10v10, I tried to question my young leaders as to how we could change the game so that the players could be more involved. We managed to get to a point where we had 4 teams all moving around with a football per team, but it took a long time. I really didn't want to have to step in, but for this I needed to. I did my best to persevere and be patient, trying to tease answers from my young leaders, but at times I had to do what was best for everyone and get the kids playing.
By the end of the morning we finished with 4 teams, and 2 mini matches going on.. much better than the 10v10 we started with. Not perfect, but a work in progress. We had a brief reflection on the session, my young leaders said they enjoyed the festival aspect but couldn't understand why there wasn't any competition at the start of the session. It seemed that competition on meant playing a match, not scoring points and then comparing them with another team. I had my work cut out trying to convince them. The tasks for the next day were to read up on our new game and to think about talk time.. moving away from 5 minutes of talking.
We all witnessed an unreal sight at the end of the morning festivals, with minutes left until finishing the school finished for the day and all of the school kids poured out of classrooms and descended down the hill towards us. What a sight! However, this turned into another slot of reality, they all came clambering through the boxes of water bottles which were out for those taking part in the session. All empty bottles were snapped up by the kids in seconds. Another showcasing of the real problems out there, not the pitches without grass, those without phones.. but those without water.
Back to the hotel for lunch and to ponder over the morning's action, I was struggling to comprehend with the fact that developments were small. Without thinking properly, I just got into a spin of thoughts that I wasn't doing things properly, or that I had missed something and that's why we weren't progressing.. when really the difference from the first to the last morning sessions were huge.
The afternoon provided me with an eye opening opportunity as we headed across to the University of Rwanda. We delivered a workshop around small sided football and how to run different types of tournaments. From the conversations I had, it is clear how high the level of intellect is at the university, how much knowledge the students had was far and above what I expected.
We looked at league systems and knock out tournaments, how they worked and what a world cup tournament would look like. This after a brief session around the 4 corner model. We soon headed outside to put on our own World Cup. I spent time showing some of the students how to run the scoreboard, how to put in scores and then work out the winners.
It was an eventful afternoon which passed very quickly. I really enjoyed taking hold of discussions with my group and having fun with the tasks. Hopefully more small sided football will be played at the University, but only time will tell.
At the hotel we had Jacques and some of the Dream Academy join us for tea. I had a quiet evening, listening to conversations and going over my thoughts for the day. I had a chat with Pete and had a bit of a wobble, relaying my thoughts around slow developers, worrying that I was letting the team down - I expected a mini wobble, but I'm glad to have had such high support from the team around me. Pete was class, pointed out the facts that without us there wouldn't be any progress at all. Explaining how his group were doing and the problems he was facing with his group. A proper heart to heart which put me at ease.
I enjoyed being a spectator at dinner, Jacques noticed my quiet side, but I was listening to everything. It was interesting to hear that mini soccer in Rwanda is 5-a-side. This shows how things translate across the world, but don't always have the same meaning. Unfortunately this is the point at which I look back on and wish I hadn't have followed suit and had a burger for tea.. more on this to come.
No video diary that night, straight into the sack to sleep.
Thursday morning swung round, so did my first bout of illness. My tender stomach was greeted with a slab of toast and multiple tablets.
I had a deep conversation with Steve, going over the previous days' action. I was given the do what you enjoy speech and we moved on. My task was to ask better questions which were though provoking, not closed.
Onto the school, we set up, sorted everything out. I set my challenges for the day, we were ready to go.. then a few hundred kids came around the corner! Unbelievable scenes! We were given a huge welcome by the children who sang to us, their head teacher cancelled their morning lessons so that they could watch us deliver. Wow, that was overwhelming. Lessons being cancelled because of our visit.
My teams sessions started well, less talk time and straight into the warm up. We split into 2 pitches and had small sided games. Much better than the previous session. We moved across to a new game which turned into a bit of a problem with people not knowing where they were going, then we had extra children running off the bank to join in, by the time we got playing that session was over! We went back to our original game, 2 pitches, 2 young leaders on each. Everyone was playing and the problems surrounding competition had been resolved.
By the festival my young leaders were running things by themselves. I was able to take a back seat and watch the football being played. There was me worrying about the small amounts of development, when really it was the tip of the iceberg.
We had a reflection session inside with John where I gave my young leaders 2 positives and 2 areas for development. The 2 areas for development were to spend less time talking and to split the players into teams quicker. Goals to think about over lunch before the afternoon session.
We arrived at the Dream Academy, there was so much space! I set up our session just so that we could get playing quickly. I set out bibs into lines so that players could just pick them up instead of being passed out from a massive bundle.
Before the kids arrived, me and my young leaders had a conversation about the development areas and any changes which they wanted to make. It was a fantastic conversation which led to a new warm up and a very structured way of delivery. 2 young leaders per pitch, 2 mini sessions. I was able to walk around and question my young leaders, what was going on, what were they seeing and thinking. I was able to find ways to communicate with all of my young leaders. Even better, none of them were stood right in the middle of the game. I had managed to get across the 'let them play' point. I reinforced the need to observe and step in when necessary.
We moved session and played Diamonds are Forever. Again 2 pitches and then games were started straight away, very little talk time - Brilliant! Again I took a back seat, watching what was going on and asking questions as we went along. The only time I stepped in was when we needed to stop! I was so chuffed with how things ended up and we still had the festival to go.
I taught a new set of young leader the Target game, showing them pictures of what the game looked like before they delivered it.
We started our festivals, but the excitement soon ended. Match abandoned as the rain fell. Day over, but what a way to finish! With so much of a buzz I sat next to Steve on the ride home telling him how the day had gone. We had a good conversation about reflections and why things had changed, thought provoking as always.
I couldn't wait until the morning for the final festival, waiting to see if I could push my young leaders any further. I wanted to see if they could completely run the festival without any of my help! However, remember that poor meal choice? Well it came back to haunt me, I went back to the room to sleep, awoke at 8pm for tea and couldn't face it. Most of the team went out for an evening with the Rwandan FA, but myself Pete, Dom and Sharon stayed at the hotel.
I had a horrible night with minimal sleep and a lot of bathroom action. I woke up pale and weak, unable to pack my bags let alone do anything else. My Rwandan Journey was over. Myself and Dom stayed at the hotel whilst the others went to enjoy their final day. A doctor was called but to no answer, we ended up in a Rwandan hospital being treated for food poisoning. I was hooked up to a drip whilst Dom got fed antibiotics before heading back to the hotel bed. Not the ending I was hoping for, but there was nothing I could do.
There were positives, news had spread about the success of the morning. I had massages of love passed on and John told me how well my group of young leaders did. I was as happy as I could be, wish I could have seen them - but knowledge of their achievements filled me up. Knowing that what I had gone over there to do, deliver and develop young leaders, had been done felt amazing! I may have gotten stressed over the week, but that's because I care. I wanted to do the best job I could and I believe I did just that.. well that's what the results say to me.
I had a difficult journey back to England, a long flight feeling terrible, struggling to sleep and just craving my bed.
We arrived back in England and said our goodbyes. I couldn't believe how quickly the week had come and gone. I've got some friends for life, people who I cant wait to meet up with again and I look forwards to reminiscing with them in the near future.
I'm going to use a separate blog post for my reflections, but I've come home a better person. I had my mid week wobble, but I expected it. What an experience which now feels surreal, so many laughs and smiling kids, conversations and peer development. A week I wont ever forget because of the personal journey I was on.
Morning soon came around and we headed off to our first school. A short drive across town, with a huge amount of reality driving past shanty houses, peering into homes without doors. Numbers of people moving around within shoebox size rooms, not enough food or water..
We arrived at the school early and so had a tour around and met the kids. It brings a smile to my face thinking about it, shaking hands, fist pumps, high fives, hugs and communicating with the children. The way they reacted to us, shows what happens when you invest your time in people, seeing their reactions were priceless. As we moved away from the school and back down the hill we got caught up in break time. Hand shakes galore! Lauren got mobbed by tens of children all wanting a piece of her. Kids amazed by our cameras, they just wanted to meet us and touch us, so overwhelming.
After peeling away we made it to our 'pitch.' Another sand and concrete surface with grass marking the perimeter. I was incredibly pleased to see my group setting up for the game with very little instruction from myself. But my back up plans were soon to be used. We started off we a 10v10, I tried to question my young leaders as to how we could change the game so that the players could be more involved. We managed to get to a point where we had 4 teams all moving around with a football per team, but it took a long time. I really didn't want to have to step in, but for this I needed to. I did my best to persevere and be patient, trying to tease answers from my young leaders, but at times I had to do what was best for everyone and get the kids playing.
By the end of the morning we finished with 4 teams, and 2 mini matches going on.. much better than the 10v10 we started with. Not perfect, but a work in progress. We had a brief reflection on the session, my young leaders said they enjoyed the festival aspect but couldn't understand why there wasn't any competition at the start of the session. It seemed that competition on meant playing a match, not scoring points and then comparing them with another team. I had my work cut out trying to convince them. The tasks for the next day were to read up on our new game and to think about talk time.. moving away from 5 minutes of talking.
We all witnessed an unreal sight at the end of the morning festivals, with minutes left until finishing the school finished for the day and all of the school kids poured out of classrooms and descended down the hill towards us. What a sight! However, this turned into another slot of reality, they all came clambering through the boxes of water bottles which were out for those taking part in the session. All empty bottles were snapped up by the kids in seconds. Another showcasing of the real problems out there, not the pitches without grass, those without phones.. but those without water.
Back to the hotel for lunch and to ponder over the morning's action, I was struggling to comprehend with the fact that developments were small. Without thinking properly, I just got into a spin of thoughts that I wasn't doing things properly, or that I had missed something and that's why we weren't progressing.. when really the difference from the first to the last morning sessions were huge.
The afternoon provided me with an eye opening opportunity as we headed across to the University of Rwanda. We delivered a workshop around small sided football and how to run different types of tournaments. From the conversations I had, it is clear how high the level of intellect is at the university, how much knowledge the students had was far and above what I expected.
We looked at league systems and knock out tournaments, how they worked and what a world cup tournament would look like. This after a brief session around the 4 corner model. We soon headed outside to put on our own World Cup. I spent time showing some of the students how to run the scoreboard, how to put in scores and then work out the winners.
It was an eventful afternoon which passed very quickly. I really enjoyed taking hold of discussions with my group and having fun with the tasks. Hopefully more small sided football will be played at the University, but only time will tell.
At the hotel we had Jacques and some of the Dream Academy join us for tea. I had a quiet evening, listening to conversations and going over my thoughts for the day. I had a chat with Pete and had a bit of a wobble, relaying my thoughts around slow developers, worrying that I was letting the team down - I expected a mini wobble, but I'm glad to have had such high support from the team around me. Pete was class, pointed out the facts that without us there wouldn't be any progress at all. Explaining how his group were doing and the problems he was facing with his group. A proper heart to heart which put me at ease.
I enjoyed being a spectator at dinner, Jacques noticed my quiet side, but I was listening to everything. It was interesting to hear that mini soccer in Rwanda is 5-a-side. This shows how things translate across the world, but don't always have the same meaning. Unfortunately this is the point at which I look back on and wish I hadn't have followed suit and had a burger for tea.. more on this to come.
No video diary that night, straight into the sack to sleep.
Thursday morning swung round, so did my first bout of illness. My tender stomach was greeted with a slab of toast and multiple tablets.
I had a deep conversation with Steve, going over the previous days' action. I was given the do what you enjoy speech and we moved on. My task was to ask better questions which were though provoking, not closed.
Onto the school, we set up, sorted everything out. I set my challenges for the day, we were ready to go.. then a few hundred kids came around the corner! Unbelievable scenes! We were given a huge welcome by the children who sang to us, their head teacher cancelled their morning lessons so that they could watch us deliver. Wow, that was overwhelming. Lessons being cancelled because of our visit.
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| What a welcome! |
My teams sessions started well, less talk time and straight into the warm up. We split into 2 pitches and had small sided games. Much better than the previous session. We moved across to a new game which turned into a bit of a problem with people not knowing where they were going, then we had extra children running off the bank to join in, by the time we got playing that session was over! We went back to our original game, 2 pitches, 2 young leaders on each. Everyone was playing and the problems surrounding competition had been resolved.
By the festival my young leaders were running things by themselves. I was able to take a back seat and watch the football being played. There was me worrying about the small amounts of development, when really it was the tip of the iceberg.
We had a reflection session inside with John where I gave my young leaders 2 positives and 2 areas for development. The 2 areas for development were to spend less time talking and to split the players into teams quicker. Goals to think about over lunch before the afternoon session.
We arrived at the Dream Academy, there was so much space! I set up our session just so that we could get playing quickly. I set out bibs into lines so that players could just pick them up instead of being passed out from a massive bundle.
Before the kids arrived, me and my young leaders had a conversation about the development areas and any changes which they wanted to make. It was a fantastic conversation which led to a new warm up and a very structured way of delivery. 2 young leaders per pitch, 2 mini sessions. I was able to walk around and question my young leaders, what was going on, what were they seeing and thinking. I was able to find ways to communicate with all of my young leaders. Even better, none of them were stood right in the middle of the game. I had managed to get across the 'let them play' point. I reinforced the need to observe and step in when necessary.
We moved session and played Diamonds are Forever. Again 2 pitches and then games were started straight away, very little talk time - Brilliant! Again I took a back seat, watching what was going on and asking questions as we went along. The only time I stepped in was when we needed to stop! I was so chuffed with how things ended up and we still had the festival to go.
I taught a new set of young leader the Target game, showing them pictures of what the game looked like before they delivered it.
We started our festivals, but the excitement soon ended. Match abandoned as the rain fell. Day over, but what a way to finish! With so much of a buzz I sat next to Steve on the ride home telling him how the day had gone. We had a good conversation about reflections and why things had changed, thought provoking as always.
I couldn't wait until the morning for the final festival, waiting to see if I could push my young leaders any further. I wanted to see if they could completely run the festival without any of my help! However, remember that poor meal choice? Well it came back to haunt me, I went back to the room to sleep, awoke at 8pm for tea and couldn't face it. Most of the team went out for an evening with the Rwandan FA, but myself Pete, Dom and Sharon stayed at the hotel.
I had a horrible night with minimal sleep and a lot of bathroom action. I woke up pale and weak, unable to pack my bags let alone do anything else. My Rwandan Journey was over. Myself and Dom stayed at the hotel whilst the others went to enjoy their final day. A doctor was called but to no answer, we ended up in a Rwandan hospital being treated for food poisoning. I was hooked up to a drip whilst Dom got fed antibiotics before heading back to the hotel bed. Not the ending I was hoping for, but there was nothing I could do.
There were positives, news had spread about the success of the morning. I had massages of love passed on and John told me how well my group of young leaders did. I was as happy as I could be, wish I could have seen them - but knowledge of their achievements filled me up. Knowing that what I had gone over there to do, deliver and develop young leaders, had been done felt amazing! I may have gotten stressed over the week, but that's because I care. I wanted to do the best job I could and I believe I did just that.. well that's what the results say to me.
I had a difficult journey back to England, a long flight feeling terrible, struggling to sleep and just craving my bed.
We arrived back in England and said our goodbyes. I couldn't believe how quickly the week had come and gone. I've got some friends for life, people who I cant wait to meet up with again and I look forwards to reminiscing with them in the near future.
I'm going to use a separate blog post for my reflections, but I've come home a better person. I had my mid week wobble, but I expected it. What an experience which now feels surreal, so many laughs and smiling kids, conversations and peer development. A week I wont ever forget because of the personal journey I was on.
Thursday, 27 February 2014
The FA Changing Lives Programme: Rwanda 2014 [Part I]
15-22nd February 2014, The FA Changing Lives Trip 2014
As the team arrived, excitement continued to build.. That until Donna received a phone call from Steve. Oh no. Flights cancelled. Barriers to participation and we hadn't even left the country! What a nightmare, so much frustration and disappointment.. Trust it to happen the year I go! Fortunately, Donna and the nice lady at ATP solved it and re-booked our flights for Sunday evening. A bit of a wait, but that's where my story truly begins.
The trip allows 4 young leaders from the Football Futures programme the opportunity to travel to a country in Africa to deliver an international leadership programme to develop young leaders who can then continue a ripple effect of development in their own communities.
This year was there first where The FA had returned to a previous country, we were going to further develop those leaders from last year through the Mash Up programme, whilst working with 20 new leaders who would work through The FA Changing Lives Programme Leadership Course.
So.. The trip..
The Changing Lives Team of 2014 was: Donna McIvor, Steve Swallow, John Heathcote, Sharon Muxworthy, Matt Jones, Dominic Best, Matt Ford, Pete Haynes, Lauren Asquith and myself. What an amazing team to be a part of, not just in terms of individuals but as a unit. A group of people passionate about football and wanting to make a change, be the difference. Not only who want to go on their own personal journey, but to also help support and develop others. To push each other well out of their comfort zone!
Lindsey Whitton of West Riding FA told me that the trip would not only change the life of those I work with, but my own.. Words echoed by my Dad when I first got a place on the trip. All of the messages I received prior to departure were overwhelming.. well that's what I thought overwhelming felt like.
I went with the goal to improve my 'problem solving' abilities, something I struggle with is dealing with problems on the spot. I don't have a thought process, just a mental breakdown of stress and worry that a problem has occurred. My new thought process was.. Problem - 1 Minute Thought - Action - Reflection. This was to have some structure to my thoughts, something to stick to and a route to dealing with any problems. This was a starting point.
Me being me, I had my moments before the trip.. The times where I thought I wasn't good enough, that I might let the team down. So many what ifs, no yeah buts. Yeah but, I know how to manage people and create strong rapports. Yeah but, I've worked hard and deserve this opportunity.
The extra day and a half spent in the hotel weren't terrible, filled with massive breakfasts, pillow fights, dodgy valentines day lift conversation and ham and picollili sandwiches.. Without the picollili of course. All in all, we got closer as a group and had some outstanding conversations. Those of which I seek at uni with lecturers.
Time soon ticked on, Sunday morning came and we got to dress in our FA kit. What a feeling that was to be wearing a t-shirt which the FA crest on my chest, knowing I would not only be representing them, but England whilst over in Rwanda. It was another feeling which felt right, like it was my time! This was what dreams are made of. A hefty 4 part breakfast filled me up, by the time we had checked out it was lunch time and the team were once again reunited.. This time all systems were set to go!
I had been fed previous stories from trips, knowing that the journey would be life changing.. Little did I realise how this previous knowledge wouldn't even scratch the surface of my first hand experience.
We checked in and through Heathrow, wandered through the boarding gates and convinced a woman we worked for Chelsea. Watched Liverpool lose, drank red bull and started speculating about the week ahead. Kenya Airways were our providers, the team were dotted around the plane sucked in between other tourists.. The journey had properly begun.
It was a long flight, going from London to Nairobi, Steve nearly ate his dinner of my head after managing to draw himself away from the 'Jumpers for Goalposts' esc game. We then travelled from Nairobi to Kigali.
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| The Team arriving at Kigali Airport |
The heat hit us hard after stepping out of the airport, but it was good to see the friends faces of Jacques and Mamim to meet us. Kigali certainly differed to expectations, it was so much greener and built up than I expected. Many shanty towns surrounding the road we were travelling on, these providing the reality of the Rwandan capital.
Arriving at the hotel again was a bewildering experience, swimming pool, smart lobby and balcony.. How is it possible for there to be such a facility in an area of poverty? Traffic lights capable of counting down the time to cross, swimming pools all surrounded by shanty towns and strugglers.
We didn't have much time at the hotel before heading out on our first adventure. The plans were to head to the Genocide Memorial Museum and then off to a local orphanage.
The Genocide Memorial was probably the one aspect I wasn't so much looking forwards to prior to the trip, mainly because I don't deal which those kinds of things very well in an everyday sense. I found the memorial experience very difficult, I have learnt about the genocide at uni, but being there was a different matter. So much more of a reality slap of the devastation, I struggled to comprehend and fully accept everything I was seeing and reading. Images and stories really drove home the level of the situation. Silence fell on the team as we walked through, respects given where due.
My thoughts following 'The Children's Room' were immediately on the orphans we were going to visit. How was I going to help those children and give them a positive experience to make their day. Hundreds of children who lost family members to the genocide became orphans, so I felt it to be my duty to deliver something enjoyable to lift spirits, even just for that afternoon.
It was quite surreal heading towards the orphanage, driving down a main road which was pretty much perfect before turning off onto a mud and concrete track down a hill and over many road holes.. Another bout of reality. We went to SOS, which was the name of the orphanage and were told about how the place worked and the children there of which there were hundreds. As we continued to delve into the centre we had our paths crossed by cows and finished at a mound of grass with 60+ children waiting for us. As a team we went straight in to meet the children exclaiming 'Muraho' 'Nit Wa Sarah' , such a buzz was their response. Greeted with smiles. We got into our sessions after 30 seconds planning time, me and Matt F cracked on with a game of football before adding in our restrictions.
Even just a basic game of football made the kids happy, being able to be competitive and enjoy themselves through sport. Such a sight as we take it for granted at home. We were there for an hour which seemed to fly by, before long we were saying goodbye and being sung to. A difficult sight walking away, the children chasing the bus, knowing that they wouldn't get that sort of enjoyment again for a while possibly, and that they were going back to lessons and spending their lives without family.
We all left the orphanage absolutely buzzing, huge smiles and wanting more. What a surreal experience, children just enjoying the game.
Back to the hotel for tea/dinner before our first mentoring sessions and Big John's briefing for the start of the leadership programme. My task was set for the next day, to pick out 3 positives from the day... As I've said previously I'm very good at being over critical, even if I have a really positive session, 1 negative will always take priority in my mind. The point of finding positives was to make sure I stayed in a positive mindset constantly and faced challenges in the right way.
So day 2 of the week in Rwanda, we got up, tried breakfast for the first time, consumed our malaria tablets and were soon on the way to The Federation Rwandaise de Football Association or FERWAFA for short. We were greeted by old and new faces, those of young leaders who were on the programme last year, and those new would be working through the leadership programme.
All of the kit was laid out, speeches were made and the course was finally started! Myself, Matt, Lauren and Pete worked with the new young leaders with Steve and John, whilst MJ, Sharon and Dom delivered the Mash Up programme to last years' young leaders.
We started off by breaking into groups and meeting the leaders we were going to mentor before some ice-breakers. It was stunning to find out the FA YLs were the youngest in the room! It seems that 'young' in Rwanda refers to experience rather than age.
Without letting the age gap phase us, we moved on. In my group I had Valentine, Peter, Speciose and Emmanuel. The first task around 'what makes a good leader' was interesting. At no point did I need to push for answers, I only questioned for my own understanding. We had answers surrounding being the friend of your players, respect, discipline and self-confidence. What a fantastic start to the day. These thoughts founded our code of conduct for the week.
We soon moved outside and onto the practical activity, John went through a couple of warm up activities before we delivered our games.
It was a surreal environment.. sand, stones and concrete formed the playing surface. The Rwandan national stadium in the background and we even had a crowd stay and watch. I covered all mediums of delivery, visuals on a whiteboard, demonstrations, walking through the activity as well as speaking. It's weird thinking back, but that 15 minutes was the most comfortable I've every felt in a coaching situation, yet I had never been there before. Do you know what?.. I felt confident, trusted myself and backed myself.
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| Delivering my session. |
All of the games were delivered before heading back to the hotel for lunch, that until Steve lost the room key! Luckily I had seen a key outside and so rushed back to find it, don't worry all danger was averted.
Following lunch we looked at running events and the types of tournaments you can run before planning for the delivery of our first festivals. My group who strived during the morning, struggled to plan. I continued to be patient and persevere as we slowly worked towards an outcome. At times I wanted to do it all for them, but how would that help? Anyway, we reached 5.25pm with a basic plan in place. Fantastic after it first seemed we'd never had a warm up!
Arriving back at the hotel felt pleasant following the days' challenges. Time to reflect and plan myself for the festival. My plans were all back-ups, anything that I thought could bring up an issue, I planned for.
Dinner followed by a mentoring sesh followed by bed, well bed was after my video diary efforts which Lauren wasn't amused by.. I'm quite fortunate not to have been thrown over the balcony!!
To be continued...
Wednesday, 29 January 2014
Let's Be Honest
With little over 2 weeks before jetting off to Rwanda I feel that now is a good time to fill in a couple of blanks and have a bit of a mind dump I guess.
So the latest news is that I've been offered and have taken a position on The FA's National Game Youth Council. A very exciting addition to this years' agenda. I know, I thought I was busy enough! But as you may have seen in previous posts, this is something which I wanted. The only thing that I struggled to get over last year with disappoint, but I've worked incredibly hard to put myself into a contending position. I'm already relishing the opportunity to meet new people and work within a team who really want to make a difference and along side determined individuals. What a workforce we have!
We had our first meeting just over a week ago, a surreal experience. Excitement, apprehension, nerves all packed into me. However much I enjoyed the new environment and working with our fantastic team for the first time, I struggled to concentrate. I couldn't switch off to switch on.
The same weekend as this meeting we had our Rwanda Induction. 2 days of preparations for our trip to deliver The FA Changing Lives Award! I had a phenomenal time with the team, and I honestly think we are an incredibly strong group of people who will make a huge difference to the community we work in. It's been said enough times, we all bring different strengths and attributes to the table and we've all earned the right to go on the programme.
The workshops/sessions we were in were really enjoyable and thought provoking. The weekend has really brought to life the journey we are embarking on, I don't just mean the thousands of miles to get to Rwanda! But the impact we will have, the difference we will make and how the trip will be life changing for us, not just those who we work with. When I think back over the last couple of years and the amount of people I've worked with it's quite astounding, but I don't and haven't really seen the impact which I've had. Where as, I think about Rwanda and it's a completely different story. I feel like everything will be magnified by a thousand percent. Within that short space of a week there will be so much development and it will come in many forms. I guess that by working with the same people day in day out you can see the affect you're having.
I came away from those 2 days in a weird mood, I cant really describe it in any other way. Rwanda has taken over my thoughts, it's taken over me! I'm continuously speculating what might happen, challenging my thoughts - what will you do if...? What if you make a mistake? So many What ifs.
Through my blog it's so easy to become a keyboard warrior and put on my armour.. but really I'm getting quite nervous. I don't want to let people down, it think that has become a way of life for me.. constantly worrying about other people, what they're thinking and seeing. I've not got that rocket up my backside, and even if I did I wouldn't ever light it. That little spark where you can run out of your comfort zone and take the chance of it being in the wrong direction. I'm working on it.
I have and will to continue to say that Rwanda will be a catalyst to developing personally and professionally. I honestly believe that once we've landed in Rwanda I'll feel fine and I'll make the most of every second - I know so. But for now, the nerves are sticking around.
Having the thoughts of Rwanda and my roles for the weeks, all the plans, team morale the lot is so exciting. I couldn't switch off from this to switch on to National Youth Council. I tried, but it just wouldn't happen.
I cant wait to be boarding the plane with the team and get going. It will be an unbelievable personal journey, I'm ready for it. I might come back a different person, but I'd rather come back a better person.
It's been difficult to write this post, but I don't want anyone to think this is a one off. I get nervous about everything. I've become a self-doubting pro. Pick out any event, opportunity, coaching session and there has been a certain level of nerves and anxiousness. However much I look forwards to something, there is always a monkey on my back questioning things. Maybe I'm getting good at hiding these emotions and feelings.. I'd like to think so.
Because of the above, the trip to Rwanda will hit me hard and will have a huge effect on me personally. As I've said, I'm ready for it. It's this waiting which I'm struggling with. I've too much time to think and as the quote goes, most of the time over-thinking creates a problem which wasn't there to begin with.
I've chosen problem solving as my behaviour to try and improve over the course of the week, I think that from the above and my own thoughts/feelings they wont always be practical problems to solve. But that's a challenge in itself.
It will be difficult for me to blog daily in Rwanda because I like to reflect deeply and take my time. But I will definitely have a blog post [if not a few] once we return. I'm looking at the possibilities of videos every other day with video diary clips, snapshot in the moment thoughts to give a flavour of daily events. That's the plan, but as I've been warned, I will need plan X, Y and Z.. not A, B and C.
Over and out amigos, see you on the other side.
http://vimeo.com/84705012
So the latest news is that I've been offered and have taken a position on The FA's National Game Youth Council. A very exciting addition to this years' agenda. I know, I thought I was busy enough! But as you may have seen in previous posts, this is something which I wanted. The only thing that I struggled to get over last year with disappoint, but I've worked incredibly hard to put myself into a contending position. I'm already relishing the opportunity to meet new people and work within a team who really want to make a difference and along side determined individuals. What a workforce we have!
We had our first meeting just over a week ago, a surreal experience. Excitement, apprehension, nerves all packed into me. However much I enjoyed the new environment and working with our fantastic team for the first time, I struggled to concentrate. I couldn't switch off to switch on.
The same weekend as this meeting we had our Rwanda Induction. 2 days of preparations for our trip to deliver The FA Changing Lives Award! I had a phenomenal time with the team, and I honestly think we are an incredibly strong group of people who will make a huge difference to the community we work in. It's been said enough times, we all bring different strengths and attributes to the table and we've all earned the right to go on the programme.
The workshops/sessions we were in were really enjoyable and thought provoking. The weekend has really brought to life the journey we are embarking on, I don't just mean the thousands of miles to get to Rwanda! But the impact we will have, the difference we will make and how the trip will be life changing for us, not just those who we work with. When I think back over the last couple of years and the amount of people I've worked with it's quite astounding, but I don't and haven't really seen the impact which I've had. Where as, I think about Rwanda and it's a completely different story. I feel like everything will be magnified by a thousand percent. Within that short space of a week there will be so much development and it will come in many forms. I guess that by working with the same people day in day out you can see the affect you're having.
I came away from those 2 days in a weird mood, I cant really describe it in any other way. Rwanda has taken over my thoughts, it's taken over me! I'm continuously speculating what might happen, challenging my thoughts - what will you do if...? What if you make a mistake? So many What ifs.
Through my blog it's so easy to become a keyboard warrior and put on my armour.. but really I'm getting quite nervous. I don't want to let people down, it think that has become a way of life for me.. constantly worrying about other people, what they're thinking and seeing. I've not got that rocket up my backside, and even if I did I wouldn't ever light it. That little spark where you can run out of your comfort zone and take the chance of it being in the wrong direction. I'm working on it.
I have and will to continue to say that Rwanda will be a catalyst to developing personally and professionally. I honestly believe that once we've landed in Rwanda I'll feel fine and I'll make the most of every second - I know so. But for now, the nerves are sticking around.
Having the thoughts of Rwanda and my roles for the weeks, all the plans, team morale the lot is so exciting. I couldn't switch off from this to switch on to National Youth Council. I tried, but it just wouldn't happen.
I cant wait to be boarding the plane with the team and get going. It will be an unbelievable personal journey, I'm ready for it. I might come back a different person, but I'd rather come back a better person.
It's been difficult to write this post, but I don't want anyone to think this is a one off. I get nervous about everything. I've become a self-doubting pro. Pick out any event, opportunity, coaching session and there has been a certain level of nerves and anxiousness. However much I look forwards to something, there is always a monkey on my back questioning things. Maybe I'm getting good at hiding these emotions and feelings.. I'd like to think so.
Because of the above, the trip to Rwanda will hit me hard and will have a huge effect on me personally. As I've said, I'm ready for it. It's this waiting which I'm struggling with. I've too much time to think and as the quote goes, most of the time over-thinking creates a problem which wasn't there to begin with.
I've chosen problem solving as my behaviour to try and improve over the course of the week, I think that from the above and my own thoughts/feelings they wont always be practical problems to solve. But that's a challenge in itself.
It will be difficult for me to blog daily in Rwanda because I like to reflect deeply and take my time. But I will definitely have a blog post [if not a few] once we return. I'm looking at the possibilities of videos every other day with video diary clips, snapshot in the moment thoughts to give a flavour of daily events. That's the plan, but as I've been warned, I will need plan X, Y and Z.. not A, B and C.
Over and out amigos, see you on the other side.
http://vimeo.com/84705012
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
2014... Lets Go
Happy New Year to all readers, Thank You for coming back and not making it your New Years resolution to stop reading! :P
So, I've got quite a year ahead of myself. A dream of mine came true over Christmas, which entails an adventure I've wanted for nearly 2 years, unfortunately you'll all have to wait and see what that is. I've got trips across the worlds to look forwards to, some massive challenges involved in that, not just those which meet the eye. Continuing my Activator role, working hard to provide the best service I can for students. My coaching which has already taken off like a rocket over Christmas, opportunities which I couldn't have imagined a few years ago when I started. Volunteering when possible, feels weird that I've had to turn down 2 County FF camps because of Rwanda - lets hope a few others pop up! And this year I will also enter the final year of my degree. Scary stuff, my calendar is filling up quickly.. but I wouldn't have it any other way!
A lot of the above was thrown into my last blog post, so I don't really want to chirp on for too much. I'd like to use this post to outline my goals and targets for the year. I went through my little black book yesterday [for the first time since September] and realised how many targets I had hit. Things like my job, volunteering for 200 hours across the year, don't put too much stress on myself, do what makes ME happy, take every opportunity I can. I've even hit 2 out of 3 goals which I put up as bonuses if you like, things I can control, but ultimately come down to someone else's decision.
The last 3 weeks have provided me with the opportunity to reflect properly, not like I reflect enough already, but to do it constructively and put things up for this year.
Without further I do, this years coaching goals are:
1. Get out of this comfort zone: I've worked hard to get where I am.. but that isn't an excuse to stop. It's a reason to keep pushing on and see how far I can go!
- Offer more ideas at the Skills Centre and within my grassroots club.
- Set more, and different 1-1 challenges. Make sure that I revisit any challenges set, make sure that they mean something.
- Create better and more open sessions. Don't put a lid on things, just because there is a topic or theme, doesn't mean that's what has to happen. Make sure there is a great amount of opportunities to be creative and have decisions to make.
2. Implement my reflection sheet. Which is something I've put together to make my reflections more constructive. I want to get away from just writing what I thought and then leaving it. By having something printed out and on my desk for when I get in, I have to fill it out and build on what's happened.
3. Talk time; gaining and maintaining attention. Make the most of the time available, use it wisely and don't take up time which isn't yours. Remember whose session it is.
I've nailed them down to three, after going over goals and targets I set last year. These 3 are the end product of putting old ones together and building upon them.. not ticking them off and running in another direction.
Last year I set personal goals including using eye contact appropriately, enjoy what I'm doing, get across to different county's FF events, apply for the National Youth Council, apply for my job, learn to say 'no'. Some I've achieved, others are still a work in progress.. but I'm getting there. Like I said, I've only get 1 aim left on my 'uncontrollable' list, which I'm doing all I can to get myself up there.. but the final decision isn't mine.
I've added a few new objectives,
-See how long I can go without drinking alcohol. I got to March last year, slightly spurred on by my knee operation. So lets see if I can get further without something like that to aim for.
-Apply for the Shropshire Youth Council when I can.
-Work towards my Level 2, which is a must!
-Start looking at a dissertation topic.
I've a couple of others which are staying private for now, but non the less, they are still there to be shot at.
Christmas was a welcomed 3 week break, but it's good to be back in the thick of it. I cannot wait for the 17th January, heading down to SGP for the first time this year to meet up with the Changing Lives team and get the wheels in motion for our trip in February.
I hope that you all have a fantastic 2014 and work hard.. in the direction of your dreams.
So, I've got quite a year ahead of myself. A dream of mine came true over Christmas, which entails an adventure I've wanted for nearly 2 years, unfortunately you'll all have to wait and see what that is. I've got trips across the worlds to look forwards to, some massive challenges involved in that, not just those which meet the eye. Continuing my Activator role, working hard to provide the best service I can for students. My coaching which has already taken off like a rocket over Christmas, opportunities which I couldn't have imagined a few years ago when I started. Volunteering when possible, feels weird that I've had to turn down 2 County FF camps because of Rwanda - lets hope a few others pop up! And this year I will also enter the final year of my degree. Scary stuff, my calendar is filling up quickly.. but I wouldn't have it any other way!
A lot of the above was thrown into my last blog post, so I don't really want to chirp on for too much. I'd like to use this post to outline my goals and targets for the year. I went through my little black book yesterday [for the first time since September] and realised how many targets I had hit. Things like my job, volunteering for 200 hours across the year, don't put too much stress on myself, do what makes ME happy, take every opportunity I can. I've even hit 2 out of 3 goals which I put up as bonuses if you like, things I can control, but ultimately come down to someone else's decision.
The last 3 weeks have provided me with the opportunity to reflect properly, not like I reflect enough already, but to do it constructively and put things up for this year.
Without further I do, this years coaching goals are:
1. Get out of this comfort zone: I've worked hard to get where I am.. but that isn't an excuse to stop. It's a reason to keep pushing on and see how far I can go!
- Offer more ideas at the Skills Centre and within my grassroots club.
- Set more, and different 1-1 challenges. Make sure that I revisit any challenges set, make sure that they mean something.
- Create better and more open sessions. Don't put a lid on things, just because there is a topic or theme, doesn't mean that's what has to happen. Make sure there is a great amount of opportunities to be creative and have decisions to make.
2. Implement my reflection sheet. Which is something I've put together to make my reflections more constructive. I want to get away from just writing what I thought and then leaving it. By having something printed out and on my desk for when I get in, I have to fill it out and build on what's happened.
3. Talk time; gaining and maintaining attention. Make the most of the time available, use it wisely and don't take up time which isn't yours. Remember whose session it is.
I've nailed them down to three, after going over goals and targets I set last year. These 3 are the end product of putting old ones together and building upon them.. not ticking them off and running in another direction.
Last year I set personal goals including using eye contact appropriately, enjoy what I'm doing, get across to different county's FF events, apply for the National Youth Council, apply for my job, learn to say 'no'. Some I've achieved, others are still a work in progress.. but I'm getting there. Like I said, I've only get 1 aim left on my 'uncontrollable' list, which I'm doing all I can to get myself up there.. but the final decision isn't mine.
I've added a few new objectives,
-See how long I can go without drinking alcohol. I got to March last year, slightly spurred on by my knee operation. So lets see if I can get further without something like that to aim for.
-Apply for the Shropshire Youth Council when I can.
-Work towards my Level 2, which is a must!
-Start looking at a dissertation topic.
I've a couple of others which are staying private for now, but non the less, they are still there to be shot at.
Christmas was a welcomed 3 week break, but it's good to be back in the thick of it. I cannot wait for the 17th January, heading down to SGP for the first time this year to meet up with the Changing Lives team and get the wheels in motion for our trip in February.
I hope that you all have a fantastic 2014 and work hard.. in the direction of your dreams.
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